The Loss Of Leon, complete sorrow Options

[Leonpup]

I just lost my dog at 2:30 am on November 24th. I am completely devastated. It happened so fast- we only recently started seeing symptoms, about a month ago his appetite changed, he had some diarreha, then he stopped eating, he started drinking water and peeing a lot. He was only 7 years old and had a huge mass on his spleen- we decided to do surgery, but while in surgery they found cancer in his lymph nodes, on his liver, and some on his stomache. We decided to put him to sleep while he was still under anesthsia. The doctors told us he wouldn't have survived more than a couple weeks, and the pain from the surgery would've been bad.

It is all I can think about- I am at work right now, but only thinking of the pain. I miss him so much- we were soul mates.

It happened so fast- I can look at pictures taken just 2 months ago and see how healthy he was- then he lost so much weight, but even still wanted to play with his toys.

I'm not sure how to get through this. My husband and I are so lost without him.

I want to do special tributes to Leon- I also just so badly want him back.

It doesn't feel real yet, and I am so afraid that we did it all wrong.

It is just an awful thing to go through, and I am so sorry for anyone feeling these same feelings and loss.

-Rebecca