Having A Tough Time Options

[TiffyToo]

My dog drowned in my pool on April 28 and I have been a mess ever since. I thought I was getting better, but not. I know grief comes in waves and there are good days and bad days, but I am really unable to do much of anything. I don't want to leave the house, I haven't paid my bills, I don't know how to deal with this.

I had her buried in my back yard then exhumed, because I could not bear the thought of her being alone. I am having her cremated on Tuesday and I will go there, as they have a witness service. I just want the strength to be able to do this. I thought by now I'd be better, as it's been 10 days or so, but I feel horrible. I finally started sleeping a couple of days ago for more than 4 or 5 hours a night. I finally started eating again. But today I don't feel like doing anything. I know I have to write her a final letter for the service Tuesday, to tell her how sorry I am that I wasn't there, but I don't know if I can pull it together.

I've received so much help from kind people and they all say the right things, but I keep on hurting. I know they say you'll keep hurting as long as you do. Only problem is I can't let everything slide. I am afraid I am going to sink into a hole and not get out of it.