Lost My Amber After Nearly 20 Years, Pet Loss and Grief Options

[Ann H]

Kathryn, I am so glad you made it through the first day of work and are able to go back again. It is good to hear you are being good to yourself. Your sweet Amber would have wanted that for you. I know the pain of losing my Snookie and Chili Bean is still pretty bad but it is getting better. I guess all we can do is wait it out and hope and pray for the best.
Ann

[CheriAnn]

Kathryn,

I am SO happy to hear that you have been able to return to work. I'm sorry I didn't get a reply in here to you sooner

I know that with my own experience, I returned to work immediately. I lost my sweet Rachael on a Saturday, and that Monday I was back at work. I felt I needed to keep my "routine" the same to keep my sanity. Like with you, my co-workers were great! They all understood how I felt. My cubicle at work is wall to wall pictures of my furbabies! They all knew that Rachael meant the world to me. I cried ALOT at work, but noticed that people just accepted it and didn't make a big deal of it. I remember feeling strange when a co-worker would walk up and ask me a question about work, acting like nothing was wrong. Yet, I was standing there with tears rolling down my cheeks.

After the first day or two, I started working on a little memorial for her in my cubicle. To this day (6 months later) I still have a whole wall dedicated to her memory. I have poems and her pictures. I have the Rainbow Bridge story hanging too. It really helped me feel better at work.

You keep doing everything you can to comfort yourself. Your pain is still so new and fresh, but in time you will heal. I can now talk about my Rachael and share stories without breaking down. I can look at her pictures while I am working and smile. Like you said, she was a precious gift to me. I feel SO blessed to have shared with my life with her.

Be strong for your precious Amber! She had the very best life possible, thanks to you

Cheri

[Jazzygirl]

Kathryn, I'm so glad to hear the transition back to work went well. Keep going forward, one day at a time and you'll move closer to a place of peace. Okay not that I'm there myself but I'm going off faith and others' words here.

[luv_my_catz]

Good Morning All, Today is Saturday April 9th ~ it is almost 2 weeks since I lost my baby and this forum has saved my sanity ~ I am so thankful that you are all "there" whether is be answering my post or simply sharing your own feelings and/or adding to others ~ it has given me strength to take my grief and use it to help someone else who is experiencing their own losses and recoveries from those losses ~ This day is day number 12 ~ the way it goes every morning is that I wake up with an empty space in my heart ~ I am sleeping on the couch fold out bed ~ It hurts too much to sleep in my bedroom ~ However, sometimes in late afternoons when at home, I find that I can go in there, and when I do - I am beginning to find peace ~ and reflection ~ it beins to feel safer ~ as though the essence of what we shared there is sill there for me now ~ I begin to feel peace ~ and I do feel so thankful that I was able to make her final years ones of pure cat moments ~ she had good days there ~ At night - without her - however ~ I feel safer only downstairs on the sofa bed ~ where it reminds me of my old apartment where I only had three rooms and it was all cozy and warm ~ and my Amber also lived there for 14 years with me ~ But for today, I am moving forward slowly ~ I have a heart shaped pillow on the sofa now with a photo of Ambie in it ~ she is sitting on a pile of pillows on my old sofa ~ the funny thing is that last night my other cat C.C. saw it there and went to the end of the couch and sat on a pile of pillows next to the photo ~ that was the oddest thing ~ he even looked at me odd like why am I doing this ~ he has never done that before ~ Yesterday I tried to get back into a routine - but found myself nesting in the recliner with the quilt several times ~ still needing comfort ~ I gazed out the window and saw my first Robin ~ Hope for Spring and Healing ~ Thanks for being "here" ~ Peace Be With You All ~ Love, Kathryn , Angel Amber and C.C.

[Nank]

Hello Kathryn,

We had to put my big beautiful boy, Panther, to sleep on Friday, April 8.2005 We had him for 14 years....he was my world. I, too, screamed his name and don't know what to do with myself now. but it will get better. You take on their pain when you let them go..you are giving them a gift. This is the last gift you can do for them. Seek friends and find support pages and you will get through this. Go at your own pace. I tell you this, but cannot do it yet myself.
My thoughts are with you..They will always be with you

Nank and Panther (GA)