It's Time And I'm Devastated Options

[jenebekka]

Hello everyone,
I'm new here. I found this group through a search on Facebook. I have a chocolate labrador named Hershey that will turn 15 in early December. She has been my best friend for all the years. She helped me through a very painful divorce. She was there as I sat on the floor of my apartment with nothing to sit on. She encouraged me through the roughest times with her unconditional love. For the majority of those 15, it was just Hershey and me. She's my shadow everyday. It's hard to imagine life without her, but the day is coming.

Hershey has started to become more weak in her back legs and is falling more, having trouble getting up, and issues sitting down. She has lost the ability to bark and is incontinent with her bowels. Other than these issues and being nearly deaf, she's still happy and bright-eyed when she is up and walking. The last few days, I've noticed more deterioration and a heavier sleeping pattern. Therefore, Hershey is scheduled to go to the vet tomorrow, Monday. This is a scheduled check-up but I don't know if Hershey will come home or not. I will be having the "quality of life" talk with the vet. I need to know if or how much pain Hershey is in. I need to know what will happen if I allow her issues to progress. My greatest gift to Hershey is to not let her go on for me and be in pain. I am so scared for tomorrow's appointment.

I am so devastated. I've been crying so much. This is the most difficult decision I have ever made in my life. I know the vet (I love) will help me with this decision. I'm just a mess and I don't know how I'm going to be able to even talk when I get there tomorrow. This is so hard and I can't even put into words the pain I am experiencing. I know I will be okay someday but right now, it is truly terrible. I have a toddler at home and I want her to see me grieve as I should but I can't remain in a "down" state around her.

I don't know what else to say other than like everyone here, I'm just having troubles dealing with this. I hold on to my faith in that I know I will see Hershey again someday. It's just so hard to let her go. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers for this vet visit tomorrow night. It's going to be very hard - I don't know what to expect as I need the vet to help with the final decision and what is best for Hershey.

Thank you all. Many blessings to you and a peaceful rest tonight.

Jenny