My Kitty Bella Is Gone Options

[BellasRainbow]

I lost my companion of twelve years last Thursday. She was a beautiful black and white Turkish Van. The illnesses took her within two weeks; she was in kidney failure and liver failure as well as suffering from bladder stones. Due to her multiple illnesses, she was unable to recover from the bladder surgery. She was no longer eating or drinking, and she was hiding from us, which was totally out of character for her. My husband and I were forced to make the difficult decision to euthanize her. I can't believe she is gone.

She was my best buddy, my constant companion. I have such guilt over the euthanasia. We were present, and my face was the last thing that she saw. I have such a hard time believing that the procedure wasn't painful for her, even though I have read multiple sites that detail the procedure. My brain knows that she was suffering, and that we did the humane thing, my heart just doesn't want to believe it. I am so lonely now, and I miss her so much. My husband and I are expecting our first child in October, and I really wanted Bella to meet the baby. She was such a friendly cat, everyone loved her, and I know she would have loved the baby. Honestly, I am at a total loss. I have so many things to do, but I just don't really want to do any of them. I feel like a have a hole in my heart big enough to drive through.