My Cat Miranda Marie Options

[Mellie]

Greetings All

We lost our year old kitty Miranda (Rannies) on Sat 06.16 at ~10p CST. I've lost animals before, but the grief I'm experiencing over Rannies passing has completely surprised me. I'm wondering if the grief I feel is connected to the way she left our planet. A client of mine sent me a lovely blooming day lily as a thank you and I had no idea just how deadly they are to cats. No I do. I knew about pointsettias, cyclemen, english ivy, oleander, but never did it occur to me that the lily would be poisonous.

Our babies are dependent on us for safety, security and love and I let my little Rannies down in a giagantic way. I took her to the vet after she vomited a third time over two days and he thought perhaps she had an obstruction. After xrays, it was confirmed, so doc took her to immediate surgery and removed what looked like raffia. I had sent a gift and used raffia bow a few days before, so I thought I had dropped a string or two and she took off before I knew it. Crap. Upon coming out of anesthesia, she began having siezures and he treated her with Phenobarbital and thought perhaps she was having hyper-sensitive response to the antisedan used to help her out of anesthesia. He stayed with her through the evening and he tried everything to save her.

Doc was pretty baffled and upset, as she was a young, healthy girl and shouldn't have died from the procedure. I understand there are risks with anethesia, but something didn't seem right. Doc was so bothered, he had a difficult time sleeping and came back to the clinic to do some additional research and found that Rannies kidneys had totally failed... indicative of poisoning. He rang to tell me as he was concerned for our other two cats and suggested I do a thorough sweep of the house to look for toxic agents (our cats are totally indoor pets). Only thing I fuind was the lily in the window where Rannies loved to hang out. I called doc back and he confirmed the toxicity of the lily and this is what led to her death. What we thought was raffia was actually the thin leaves and stems of the plant.

I can't stop thinking about Rannies. I can't stop thinking she was in terrible pain and/or afraid. I feel like I failed her.

I miss her like crazy and the grief is just as crazy. I know it's only been a few days, but it seems all these feelings will last forever. Does it get any easier with time? Will I stop imaging me petting her?

I wonder if my greif will decrease if I knew that she wasn't afraid and/or in pain. Would the Phenobarbital injections and tablet doc put in her tummy help with her pain? Does anyone know?

I know we are all hurting as a result of the loss of a dear pets and I hate it for each one of us. Even though the circumstances are so sad, it's nice to know I can come somewhere where others empathize with my greif.

Love and gentle hugs to all my sad compadres.

Best,

Mellie

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