Reality Bites, New kitten blues Options

[notoriouskitty]

Hi everyone...it's been some time since i posted here last but to be honest....iv'e tried to put my loss in little box and lock it away. Well that little box found its way out of its hiding spot!

About 4 weeks ago (yes so soon) i put a deposit down on a new kitten. I couldnt bring myself to own another Siamese so i decided on a Ragdoll. Well everyday i have waited and waited for the kittens to be born and happily they arrived a couple of days ago. You would think i would be over the moon...well i was to start with but now reality has hit...its not my Romeo coming home. Oh i know how idiotic that sounds....of course its not my cat..my cat died...its impossible. But for some reason i guess my brain wanted me to believe he was being reincarnated or something like that. So now the sadness has taken hold and ive honestly for the first time realized he just isn't coming back. I really am looking forward to spending my life with another cat but im also frightened that i won't bond with him..is that crazy? I chose a bred opposite to the Siamese for fear of comparing the new kitten to my Romeo. A couple of people told me to wait but i have this HUGE hole in my heart that needs to be filled. Am i selfish? or are these thoughts normal? I just wish he would visit in a dream to let me know he is alright..every pet ive owned (and people i've lost) have always appeared in a dream and has put me at ease..but not this time...sometimes i think he's angry with me and that's why he hasnt been back.... anyway enough of my ramblings. Hope everyone here is doing well.

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