Is It My Fault? Should I Feel Guilty?, About my Guinea Pig Elvis Options

[Angelwngs]

I lost my Guinea Pig Elvis Presley (named after the king) on February 28, 2011 he was probably like a year-year and a half and I would have liked to put his body in the freezer with my other Guinea Pig Cooper who I lost in either November or December sometime I don't remember for sure, so I could bury them both later at my mom's new house, but his feet and stomach were pretty dirty and my boyfriend got a plastic grocery bag and had me put him in there, then he tied it up and said "I'm going to do what you can't" and he proceeded to head outside to throw him in the big trash can in the parking lot. I told him if he wasn't going to let me give him a proper buryal he better let me come and say my final goodbyes. So, we walked out to the trash can hand in hand and I said my goodbyes and then we went back inside. I didn't want it to be like that, I wanted to give him a proper buryal and I feel like I somehow betrayed him because I am still going to give Cooper a proper buryal and I had Elvis the longest. I feel afraid he is mad at me because of it. Then, to make matters even worse this last Monday on March 7th the trash picker upper came and got the trash so I watched from the apartment balcony thinking maybe it would help but it didn't it just made me feel more guilty and I cried. I also feel guilty because I remember that day in the morning they had a little bit of water that I thought would last them a little while and so me and my boyfriend went to get something to eat at Taco Bell, and when we got back Elvis was still alive and me and my boyfriend started playing Madden 2010 on the PS3 against each other so I got distracted and didn't think to check their water bottle and after the game I remember him still being alive and I was just really tired so I didn't think to check their water bottle then either and I ended up falling asleep on the bed and when I woke up like one or two hours later I think it was Elvis was lying flat on the floor of the cage and dead and for some stupid reason that still bothers me to this day, my other Guinea Pig who I call "Baby Guin" was alive and sitting on top of his dead body and I don't know why. I then proceeded to check their water bottle and it was empty, and I don't know for how long because I was stupid and neglectful and I feel guilty like it was all my fault and even though the water bottle sometimes leaked and it might not have been totally my fault at all I still feel horrible. Also, their cage had been dirty for like one or two days because I didn't have anymore bedding to use until my boyfriend got paid and could buy some and I was going to clean it out that night that just happened to be when Elvis died. I was also going to feed them after I cleaned it out because their feeding time was at night and of course I haden't feed them yet. I feel totally guilty like I neglected them that day and I paid the price. I am not an animal abuser and I never neglected to make sure they had water, in fact I would constantly check and this one day I didn't and I feel like it's all my fault and i'm not sure if the cage being really dirty could have caused it. I do have one question I have been asking myself a lot possibly to try and get rid of the horrible guilt I feel, why if it was my fault did "Baby Guin" not die as well??? Tell me the truth do you think I am a horrible person do you think it's my fault?