Dearest Eileen Options

[magdalene]

Every so often I feel I need to come here and write to you. I know it's silly. It's certainly not like you're up in the sky somewhere logging onto a computer reading my messages. But oh well, I guess we all do what brings us a little comfort, huh?

I wanted to tell you your friend Cayenne is coming. We don't know when but probably soon. She has cancer. I'm heartbroken, of course. It comforts me, though, to know she'll be with you. She missed you terribly when you left and I'm sure you've missed her too. I've worried so much that you are lonely wherever you are now and it comforts me to know that after nearly five years, soon your friend will be with you and finally you won't be alone anymore.

Even though I know you need her and she needs you, I don't want to let her go. That's probably selfish in some way but in a way she is like my last connection to you. I love sharing my home with cats but I do not plan to get another after Cayenne goes. I still feel too much guilt over your death. I feel it would not be fair to another kitty for me to bring him or her home with me. I feel someone else can provide a better home. So Cayenne is my last kitty and it makes me sad to know that.

I love you still and I think of you all the time. And you'll be seeing your friend soon.

Mommy