Death And Dying Pet Support, Anyone else like this after 6 weeks? Options

[kanecutter]

Since I work from home and own a pet sitting/dog walking business, my girl was with me 24/7 for the last 9 years. I fostered her, she was a very sad soul at first, neglected abused 1st 3 yrs of life. I ended up keeping her and loved her so much I wrapped my entire life around getting her out to run for hours each day and then when she became ill last Fall, all I did was work on keeping her happy, nothing else mattered.

I had to have her euthanized a little over a month ago. I wanted to die with her. It was the worse pain I have ever gone through in my life. During the first two weeks I literally could not stay in my own skin in the house alone...had to avoid the bone chilling absence of her presence. After the third week I began trying to rebuild my business and kept distracted that way.

Has anyone ever suddenly felt like dying again six weeks later? I thought after the third week Iwas getting better and able to work - concentrate on something besides the pain and emptiness. Suddenly, this weekend, I just feel like she's gotta be here with me as before or else I cannot function again. It's like the importance of life is gone. If she is not here, I'm in a pit and nothing can ever be right. Like I tried to function thru the loss and failed. Has anyone else thought they saw the light at the end of the tunnel and then suddenly it's gone. Just a dream that I could go on living. Suddenly, 6 weeks later I cannot go on like this unless distracted by a movie or by talking to people. Thought things would get easier, but instead it's suddenly worse.

Thanks for any input.