Heartbroken & Lost Options

[frank]

On Sunday, my Lhasa Apso jumped out of my truck and into the road. I called him attempted to alert the driver but he was hit by a pick up truck. I ran to him and held him. He died right in my arms. I was crynig, holding him in the middle of the road. This all happened in about 10 seconds. The bad thing is that I witnessed the entire event and I keep replaying it over and over again in my mind. A good samaritan stopped. I must have been in shock. She went to the emergency vet with me but it was too late. Simon was my best friend and I miss him so much. He was 2 years old and strong and handsome and everything. Everyone, (ie), the vet, the groomer, friends and strangers alike love him. And he loved everybody back. I start crying at unexpected times throughout the day. He was so full of life and joy. We went for 2 walks each day, and he appreciated it and always conveyed that to me with a smile. He woke me every morning at sunrise and when he saw me, his eyes and smile just kept saying thank you, thank you, thank you! He changed my life and I am devastaed without him around. I relied on him more than he relied on me. I am still hoping that the vet will call and say that he's OK. I miss him and feel sick. I just want to be stronger for him and somehow get through this. It was so unexpected and we were running and playing literally minutes before this happened. I'm trying to figure out how to get through this without completely falling apart.