My Beloved Vicki Is Dead, My pet cat died just over 48 hours ago Options

[Cathy]

I'm glad I found this site. It has just been over 48 hours since I lost my precious kitty. She was 7 years old, named Vicki, pure black. (I have a thing for black cats; I think they are the most beautiful creatures on earth!) She was a housecat, but she had lately gotten into the habit of slipping out the front door whenever someone opened it, going out onto the porch, and rolling around on her back. I mistakingly thought, oh, she's right here in our yard, she'll be all right.

Day before yesterday, my 12-year-old daughter was returning from a 3-day field trip at about 5:30 p.m. She told me that when she opened the door, Vicki scooted out. I was downstairs in the basement. A couple of minutes later, it was that quick, she ran down screaming, "Vicki!" and "dogs!" I ran, my heart in my throat.

My husband was in the back yard, yelling at a large black dog. My poor baby was lying on the wet grass (it was raining), not moving, still trying to breathe but her eyes already glazing over. I ran and got a box, and we tenderly lifted her into it. My husband and I ran to try to phone the vet. He had to call, I was so hysterical. I ran back out to the front porch, where my daughter was stroking her, in tears, begging her, "Hang on, Vicki, please hang on." She was still trying to breathe. In a minute, though, she was breathing no more. Her glazed eyes and perfectly still body showed all too clearly that she was gone.

My poor daughter cried, "Mommy, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I should have made her come back inside!" And I hugged her and said, "No, honey, it's not your fault." I was feeling that it was MY fault for not coming up and getting Vicki inside, but I had no idea at all, and neither did my husband.

There were 2 dogs, and they grabbed her and mauled her. I did not see this, but my daughter did. She said they had her up in the air, chewing on her. We couldn't have done anything. It happened so fast. I have never felt so devastated. I picked her poor still body up and practically howled with pain and grief. I must have stood there crying for 15 minutes, holding her like a baby. I didn't feel this bad with our last cat, who died of old age back in 2001. I cried when she died, but she died peacefully, just crawled under a chair and went to sleep and never woke up. But my poor Vicki--I can still see her gasping for breath, her eyes already glazed over. I hope she was able to feel our gentle hands trying to comfort her in her last moments.

We have already buried her. The night of her death she spent in our freezer, wrapped in a garbage bag. I went out several times to pet her cold, stiff body and cry. I cut some of her black fur, which I put into an envelope as a keepsake. I think I will sleep with it under my pillow tonight. A friend of my older daughter's dug a grave yesterday, and we buried her yesterday afternoon. I wrote her a farewell note and put it under her paws and kissed her goodbye. I put a vase of black silk roses at the grave and wrote her name on a rock with Liquid Paper.

How I miss her! She used to lounge on my bed all day, and whenever I go into my room I remember her being there. She would lay at my feet while I was in bed and walk up to my head and butt my face with hers. And if I got up to go to the bathroom, she would follow me in there. If I shut the door she would scratch at the door, meow, and even extend her paws under the door until I opened it, and then she'd come in with her fussy little "meow" to scold me!

The night before she died, she was real lovey-dovey, in a way she had not been for a long time. She went back and forth, rubbing my leg, and she spent over half an hour lying in my lap. Now I wonder if the Lord had her do this to tell me good-bye. I will cherish it always.

I have to pull myself together because I have so much to do that cannot wait. We are in financial difficulties and do not even answer the phone if we don't know who it is because creditors are calling us all day long. I'm also the primary caregiver for my elderly mother-in-law, who is here with us and has advanced Alzheimer's. Plus we are concerned about our 17-year-old daughter, who has diabetes and is missing too much school. I'm trying to cope with all this, and I have bipolar disorder, and I'm just hoping that my grief over Vicki won't send me into another episode. Vicki helped me chill out in the midst of all this. And now she is gone.

I feel so bad for my 12-year-old daughter. She blames herself for not bringing Vicki back into the house. She also saw the dogs attacking Vicki. How I wish she had not seen that.

We have 2 other cats, and they are sweet, but it won't be the same without my Vicki. She was my kitty cat, and I was her pet person. I just hope that she remembers her pet person where she is now.

Thanks for reading this long post. Please remember us in your prayers.

Cathy in GA