To My Touch, July 22, 1993 - July 13, 2007 Options

[crystal0]

My dear Touch,

It has been a little over 8 weeks since you have gone to Rainbow Bridge, and each day without you is still difficult for me. I think back on our many years together -- you were a part of me for half of my life.

I miss you so much! There are days when I am completely lost in my grief, longing to hold you and see your face again.

I remember when we first got you. It was March of 1998, and I was just a kid. Actually, at that time I did not think much about getting a dog, it was my dad who had agreed to get two Pekingese dogs from his co-worker, who was a breeder.

When we went and picked you and your female friend, Ripple, up, I was pretty frightened of you! You protected Ripple, jumping up, barking and growling if hands came close. But eventually, I was not a stranger to you anymore. As I grew to love you more and more, my family decided to give both you and Ripple away, saying that two dogs was too many to handle. They did not inform me of their decision ahead of time. I came home one day to people taking you and Ripple away.

I begged and begged for you back, until one day, the new owners also could not take care of two dogs, and you were given back to me.

And so we lived on together.

Touch, I wish I appreciated you more when I was younger. Those days that I would stay out forever with my friends and not spend time with you, watch TV without you in my lap, enjoy the sunshine without you next to me...countless days when both you and I were younger that I wish I showed you my love. I hope that you forgive me for those days of neglect, and know that I love you so very much.

You were my special "old man," as weird as that sounds. You looked like a grumpy guy, but I knew that you were happy and that you loved me. I used to get extremely mad when anyone made negative comments about your looks. I wanted to scream. To me, you were the most beautiful dog, and I saw the light in you where no one else did.

It saddens me thinking of how numbered our days were after you were diagnosed with cancer. We had only about a month before you had to go. I wished everyday would never end. I see that I was being selfish, not wanting you to go, despite that you were in pain and the illness was growing. I look at the latest pictures of you, and cry. You looked like you were hurting so much.

I will always remember your cute little face with your tongue sticking out. I will always remember you gazing at me from your bed, and I would think, "I am so lucky to have you."

I am so grateful to have had you in my life. I truly was blessed. You made me a better person, teaching me the importance of patience and the greatness of love.

You will always be in my heart, and our souls will be intertwined forever. You took a part of me along with you that day you left. I know I will see you again one day, and everything will be perfect with you in my arms again.

I love you so much,
Crystal