Really Hurting, Feeling Mo's absence more than ever Options

[Mo&Maisie'sMom]

The last couple of days have really been awful. I've been crying constantly and feeling that horrible, empty pit of grief that makes you physically sick. The pet memorial park nearby called me on Friday to let me know (very nicely, thank God) that my credit card wasn't working. (The bank had since sent a new one due to a security issue & in the midst of everything, I didn't think to call them). It takes almost 8 weeks to receive their ashes around here. I had to call them back today with the new card number, and although they were extremely compassionate, I could barely hold it together on the phone. I heard her say "Mo" and I just couldn't believe that she was talking about my boy, my best friend and baby for all these years, who was so full of life and light, who kept me sane through some awful experiences, and now he's just ashes? I have never felt pain like this..I can't believe he's gone. I think it's just really hitting me that this is it, and I can't stop weeping. I miss every little thing...I miss him more and more as the days pass..I don't know if I did the right thing anymore..how am I going to get through this?