My Zappy Is Gone Options

[julzappacat]

I had to put my cat Zappa to sleep on Saturday morning.

About a week before Christmas, I noticed that he stopped eating for a few days and was starting to have trouble getting around. When I brought him to the vet, I had no idea how sick he was - he was jaundiced and he had to be admitted. He had a range of tests to determine what the problem was with his liver. The following four days were horrible not having him at home, while he was hospitalized, but I visited him every day. He had started eating a little on his own, but he still needed to be force fed.

I took him home and force fed him multiple times per day for two weeks. Then all of a sudden, we realized that he was only eating when we made him eat and what I thought was progress was just a veil. His blood tests hadn't improved and even revealed that he had become anemic towards the end.

By last Friday night, it was apparent that his health was rapidly declining and the vet and I came to the conclusion that there was nothing else we could do. He couldn't walk or even drink on his own and he couldn't even manage to take care of himself at that point. This was the hardest decision I had to make but I know that he was no longer comfortable and it was his time.

This brings me to today - 2 days later and I seem to cry more than not. Zappa was the first pet I ever had and I had him for all 13 years of his life. I don't know what to do to feel better. I still find myself walking into a room and instinctively checking the bed or sofa to see if he's there. I always wanted to be where he was and when he was well, he always wanted to be where I was, even if it was right on top of the book I was reading at the moment.

He meant everything to me and I just loved him so much. I can't compare my relationship with him to any other - he truly was a best friend and took care of me as much as I took care of him. I am happy that I found this board and I hope that we can help one another get through this pain. It is a pain I never knew I could feel. All I want is to get to pet his soft little head one more time, give him a kiss and make sure he knew how much I loved him and always will. I miss my baby.

Here is a picture of my sweet little guy ... everyone who met him, fell in love with him.

Attached image(s)