New Here...just Lost My Cat Options

[mollysmom07]

I just lost my best friend and baby at 3am suddenly. She had been sick off and on the last year. She was 10 years old. I am absolutely heartbroken. I can't stop crying. I am so glad I stumbled onto this forum. I have a daughter that is 4. She is doing better than I and asks when we are getting a new kittie. I am sorry if I am rambling. I have been up all night and haven't eaten in 24 hours. My Molly saw me through so much and was by my side through my infertility, my grandmother's death, my divorce, 2 major surgeries and the adoption of my daughter. In 2 weeks I am having back surgery and my assurance was knowing that Molly would be by my side in bed and on the couch. What do I do know? How will I get through this surgery without her? I walk through the house and see her everywhere. I hear her and smell her. THis is my first pet of my own. I can't even be strong in front of my daughter. She is the one telling me "it will be ok Mom". I feel so much despair. I didn't see it coming. It hit so fast. She suffered really bad the last 12-16 hours. How do I cope? I have been on the phone to my friends and they have been great. My family have been the pits but they are very dysfunctional. My dad cussed the entire time he dug her grave. I just spoke to her and petted her gently and blocked it out. I am just a mess. Somehow I have to pull myself together and go to school and teach tomorrow. Does anyone have any advice? I have tried to read some posts but they really upset me and I couldn't quit crying. I just want her back so bad. I feel helpless. I am sure it will get better but it doesn't seem that way right now. I hurt too much

Thanks for listening.
Kim