I Lost 2 Mouse Babies This Week!, 13 Deaths to grieve since May 2004 Options

[mosmommy]

I am just beside myself thinking of all of the souls that I have lost on Earth since May 22, 2004. There have been so many, and I'm not sure how much more I can take.
I posted a picture of my new cat Wilson, and he has been my band-aid, but his adhesive better be stronger than cement, because the losses keep happening. I try to assure myself that this is all for some good reason, but I have yet to find out what that reason may be.
So, if you read some of my older postings, you'll know my story. Also, if you have read my posts before you'll know, but for those who do not know, I'll recap my last 2 years of loss, then cry like a baby.
I lost my 6 1/2 year old male, black and white cat, "Creep" on May 22, 2004, to irreparable megacolon.
I lost my 3 year and 2 1/2 month old deer mouse, "Chance" to old age in November 2004, after hand raising him from 5 days old. A few weeks later I adopted 2 female mice from the SPCA, and 1 was pregnant and gave birth to 14 babies, of which 12 survived, and I kept and loved them all.
In February 2005, I lost my 95 year old Grandmother Mary, the only one I knew, to complications of age and illness.
On May 24, 2005, I lost my "Cosmo" to kidney failure (his pic is my avatar), and his death lead me to this forum of support and healing.
In July 2005, just 2 days before Cosmo's 2 month mark of passing, I lost the first baby from my mouse family, "Rip". Later that month, someone dropped off another deer mouse that needed a week and a half of hand raising, and I named her "Midget", and she is still with us as of now.
Then, I'll be honest, it just kept happening and my memory is not so clear. I lost another boy of my mouse family, "Buster".
Then I lost my first girl mouse of the family, and since 5 out of seven were identical, she had no special name, but she died in my hands.
Then, I lost another boy, " Chip".
Then, I lost their mother, "Dash".
Then, I lost my boy, "Bo".
Then, I lost my runt girl that survived, "Limpet".
Then, I lost the other girl that I adopted, "Smudge".
Yesterday, I lost another identical female.
I now have only 5 left of the family, as well as Midget, my cats Wilson, Rufus, and Beaner ( who is aging and not doing well.) I also have my 2 dogs Sage and Coco.
The grief I have gone through, and the grief yet to come is UNBEARABLE!
All of my mice were 1 year and 7 months or younger when they passed, and I knew it would happen, just not this many this close together. They had the best of everything, expensive, fresh food, refrigerated bottled water, and premium bedding, and I was diligent in their cleaning and care, even when there were 8 cages.
I sometimes think it is unfair when I tried so hard, and yet, there are alot of "not so nice" people out there who could care less about animals.
As I sit here and reflect, I know I did my best, and I have no guilt, but my heart is broken, and I miss them.
I needed to let it out to all of you caring souls that are here in this forum- where grief has brought us together.
Thank you for reading.
Peace, Love, and Prayers, to all out there in grief,
Michelle

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