Feel So Sad & Guilty, death of my Mattie (dog) Options

[MattieGirl]

I lost my baby girl Thursday, August 18th, 2005. She was not quite 9 yrs old.The vet found a tumor on Wednesday and they went in the very next day to do exploratory surgery. The tumor was huge I could see from the x-rays. It took one of her kidneys and the other one was compromised by the urine text results. The vet called me in and said maybe wouldn't make it through surgery (it was right next to artery) or maybe 3 weeks to 6 months at best. She would go down hill for those 6 months. So that fast I decided to let her go right then. I couldn't put her through the recovery only to watch her die slowly. For the past three weeks she was not eating as much as normal. Then 1 week prior I noticed blood in her urine and took her right in, the tests showed bacteria and gave me some antibiotics and took home, then she basically only ate about 4 bites of food a day. that was when I took her in again and the very next day I lost her. I feel very guilty. I know it was the best thing for her, but the feelings I keep thinking about was that I didn't catch this in time or that I didn't give her all the attention I should have. I kno't know if I spent all 24 hours with her if that would have been eonugh. I know I spoiled her very much. My friend says the huge toybox tells as much and that I took her for rides and swimming when I could. I just can't help but feel that the last few months to a year I should have spent more time. We got a new puppy about a year ago and you know how much attention a new puppy needs. I always said hello to Mattie first and gave her as much attention, but I still feel bad. Sorry to drag on, my friend says to not make about me., Mattie knows I loved her.