A Sad Day For Me, Death of my pet Options

[Rico's Mom]

Hello All,

I just discovered this site tonight....not being able to sleep due to the fact that my furbaby passed on early this morning and i have been crying my eyes out for the past few hours over the loss of my dear cat Rico. I have been reading your touching posts and realizing that i am not alone in my sadness. I have experienced this before about 20 years ago when i lost my cat of 2 years suddenly. I remember the pain and sadness i felt and swore i would never get as attached to a pet again. But... how do you not get attached to a dear pet of 17 years?

He was up in age and showing it so i knew it would not be long before i had to face the fact that he would not be here any longer. We moved to a new house in Jan. which was rough on him after having "run of the hill" at our former house for almost 17 years. I had to keep close eye on him when letting him out in our new neighborhood. He got lost once for a day and was found and then last week he was gone for 2 days when my daughter posted signs in the neighborhood and a nice person saw him while walking her dog and returned him to us. He had tangled with something and had some wounds....but it had happened before and always got over it. He developed an abscess this time....took him to vet...was considering putting him down as he really was not doing well......but the kids were out of town and i couldn't do it without them knowing. The vet seemed to think the antiboitics would be a good choice so i opted for that. Stayed up late with him last night feeding him water with a dropper as he was dehydrated and putting hot compresses on his leg. He seemed to have a little trouble breathing and i figured that was not good. Finally around 1 AM i put him to rest but when i got up early he was gone.

I am feeling quilty that i did not stay up with him and hold him in his last hours. God only knows how much comfort he had given me over the years and i feel like i let him down. I pulled my self together this morning for the sake of my kids and went to work too but when i got home and he wasn't there to greet me i lost it and have been crying ever since. I need to be strong for my girls yet i feel like i need to grieve the loss of Rico. How do i do this? Will i ever overcome my quilty feeling of not staying with him and holding him in his last hours?

So terribly sad.....Cheryl