4 Weeks Today For Rosa, I can't sleep Options

[russ1956]

It has been 4 weeks today since I had to put my Rosa down. She was my 12 y/o Longhaired Daschund. The first 2 weeks were just horrible. I cried nonstop and was in physical pain. Since then I still cry daily, but the pain has lessened. I haven't been able to sleep this evening because today is 4 weeks since I had to put her to sleep. I have had a real rough day today.
I finally vac%%ed the living room carpet about a week ago of all her fur, but still haven't been able to do the hallway or the bedrooms. I'm afraid to invited anyone over due to the filthy carpet, but I'll do it when I'm ready. People will just have to understand.
Heidi, my surviving Daschund (short haired) seems to be doing better and doesn't look for Rosa quite as much. I think that is a good thing and she is starting to heal also. I look at Heidi in a much different way now. I look in her eyes and I see Rosa. Her mannerisms are much the same also. Heidi came to us 2 years after Rosa, so Rosa has raised her. Rosa was such a sweet and kind dog and I never noticed it in Heidi until after Rosa was gone. I told her this morning "You are such a sweet dog. That is because Rosa taught you to be sweet and you don't know any other way to act".
The only time Rosa would go nuts would be when the next door neighbors friends would come over with their Black Lab. He is a BIG boy and Rosa did not want him there. She would go over to the block fence and bark and bark and bark. The lab would counter with a very deep bark. Neither would back down until I would finally bring Rosa in the house. Well, the other day the lab returned for a visit. This is the first time since Rosa is gone. Heidi, who by the way always stayed in the house when the barking match was on, ran outside with her hair standing up on her back. She ran to the fence and barked once or twice. The lab let out a very deep WOOOOOOF!!!!. Heidi turned and ran in the house, whimpering the entire way in. I held her and told her it was o.k. She didn't have to be brave like Rosa. If she could speak she would probably say "Brave like Rosa. You mean crazy like Rosa. I don't want to get eaten by that thing".
When I feel especially sad, I come in here and read the stories of everyone. I figure I will do this when I'm sad so I can cry for everyone and myself all at the same time. It is so nice to see that many people are getting new pets. I hope they will bring joy to all. Thanks for listening and I will post again. Rusty :-))