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> A Tear Filled Hard Day, Longing For Snookie
Ann H
post Jan 31 2005, 10:42 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 1,165
Joined: 31-October 04
Member No.: 538



Today has been such a hard day for me and I have been crying quite a bit. I went several places today where Snookie always went with me and I don't think I have ever felt so alone in all my life. I haven't tried to stop the tears I just let them flow. I wrote another poem for my little girl to let her know I am always thinking of her and how much her love meant to me. Today seems as hard as it did the first couple of weeks she died.

I have been blaming myself and wondering if the rice and noodles and other things I gave her to eat caused her diabetes and maybe it was really my fault that my precious baby died when her pancreas shut down. When I found out she had diabetes on top of cushings disease and cancer I cut way down on the foods high in sugar. I would never had done anything not anything that I thought would harm my Snookie Cookie but maybe in my ignorance maybe I caused the diabetes.

The vet did say cushings could cause them to be more susceptible to diabetes. I told the vet I had given her a lot of those foods because she loved them so much but he did not say it did or didn't cause her to have diabetes and I was to afraid to ask for fear it was I who caused my precious baby to die. The very thought is so hard for me to live with and right now I hate myself.

I just keep thinking worrying and wondering if maybe my Snookie would still be here if not for me. Perhaps what I thought was an act of love giving her these foods caused her to die. If so I am guilty of murder and my life is useless and nothing would matter in my life any longer.
Ann

A Different Life
My darling Snookie it broke my heart when you had to leave
Now I live a different life one while I long for you and grieve.
My tears blind my eyes because I did not want you to die
and my heart is in such pain from having to say good-bye.

I hold your loving memories so close within my broken heart
but some day My Love I will join you and never have to depart.
Snookie you wait for your mama to make Heaven her home
for on streets of purest gold together you and I will forever roam.

When I get to Heaven yours is the first face I want to see
for you are the most precious girl in this whole world to me.
I will see your face hear that bark I so dearly want to hear
and Snookie I will take you in my arms and hold you so near.
Written by Ann Howard January 31, 2005

Snookie Lynn Howard
2-04-94 - 12- 26- 04


--------------------

My girls went to the Rainbow Bridge 6 weeks and 3 days apart.
Snookie had cushing's disease, and later developed diabetes. Both had cancer, Snookie had cancer of the liver, and Chili Bean had cancer of the pallet. Chili Bean was our son's chihuahua but we kept her often throughout her life and she stayed with us for the last 9 months of her life. Chili Bean also had asthma and heart failure. We will see you in Heaven my precious darlings.


Snookie Lynn Howard
2-04-94 - 12-26-04


Senorita Chili Bean Bubbles Howard
11-05-94 - 11-11-04
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