The Hardest Decision, Euthananasia & "Saabs Jameel" Options

[cwgrlsrck]

Jameel was my 24 year old Arab/T-bred horse. I've had her since the day she was born. Yesterday I made the hardest decision of my life and that was to euthanise her. She had colicked the night before and had twisted her large intestine. This meant that without surgery, she would die because she couldn't pass solid waste. At the time of taking her to the vet, we did not realize the severity of her condition. The vet kept her overnight and gave us postings throughout the night. At 10:00am he called to tell me that she was getting worse and that he was having a hard time keeping her comfortable. I so wanted to tell him to do the surgery, but who was I doing it for? Jameel or myself? I decided that I couldn't put her through that surgery at her age only to watch her suffer more. It hasn't even been 24 hours and I miss her so much. I keep asking myself, "Did I do the right thing?" I can't seem to stop crying. Everywhere I look or go, I am reminded of her. I went out to feed tonight and stood waiting for her to come around the corner of the barn until I realized that she was never going to again. I feel so lost and lonely. I feel as if I'll never get over this.

[Punky's Mommy]

Hi there. I am terribly sorry for your loss. Only you know if you made the right decision - you knew your horse and her health at age 24 and what she could endure. Definitely, absolutely what you did was better than letting her die from colic. I will be following your thread closely because I hope you will feel like sharing more with us of your story and struggle, and also just to tell us all about Jameel. What a long and wonderful relationship you had! I bet you two have had your share of adventures!

I own a 3/4 Arabian horse named Fantasia. I've had her since she was 5 and now she's 22, fit as a fiddle, and the loveliest thing -- all curves and sass. I always thought that she will be one of those horses that lives beyond age 40. But I thought my 14 year old 20 lb. dog was the type that will live to age 20, but cancer took him this past December when he was otherwise sooo healthy. Just yesterday I noticed a growth on Taish's underside behind her udder. I can't help but think the worst. I have to entertain thoughts of cancer in her, and inevitable euthanasia, and I worry what to expect. Please share with us your experience if you feel up to it. I know writing about my experience with Punky's euthanasia was extraordinarily painful but also cleansing.

I haven't seen many posts made by horse owners. Again I am so sorry this happened to you. This is a great site that you have found, full of some of the warmest people I've ever known.

-Punky's Mommy

P.S. Post some pics of her!!