Trixie's Last Ride Home Options

[Kaill64]

Well,

I just got back from picking up Trixie’s “cremains” (that’s what they call them, I guess) at the vet. I was very apprehensive about going, mostly because I thought I wouldn’t be able to get through it without bursting into tears. Nothing wrong with tears, but I have been so physically and mentally drained over the last week and a half. And once I start it takes a long time to stop. I tried to get my husband to go but he works across town and the clinic closes at 5 – he never would have made it in time and I wanted her back today.

So, off I go. The oncologist’s office is only about 10 minutes away from my house but I haven’t driven in that direction since Trixie’s last visit. The last time I was there, I left in tears and I didn’t want to do that again. I walked in and, thankfully, there were very few people around and things were very quiet. I tried to ask for Trixie’s ashes very quietly. I saw that there was a woman and one couple in the waiting room with some very concerned expressions on their faces. I remember how upsetting it was when someone came to pick up ashes while I was there waiting with Trixie. It sent my mind and emotions in undesirable directions and just made me want to hold onto her very tightly. I didn’t want to do the same thing to other people.

They brought out this really small black rectangular cube thing and that turned out to be the temporary urn. I don’t know what I expected, maybe a box or something like that. They also gave me a little certificate from the place she was cremated. I was a little worried because they just called today to have me pick up her ashes. I thought that maybe he body had been just lying around somewhere for more than a week and didn’t like the thought of that. Her cremation date turned out to be the date I thought though. January 9th.

I left the office and did so very calmly and with only a slight watering of the eyes. After the way I left last time, I needed to go back there again and face the place with courage and calm. I think I did that.

So, one last time, I brought my baby home from the doctor’s, down the same road we always took and with me holding onto her carrier to steady it – different carrier, same baby. Now she’s sitting in her usual place, by the window in my office. And, oh hell, here I am in tears again.


Thanks for listening,

Kai

[Saki & Freyj...]

We were so young when we started our fur family. I don't know if that's why. But it never ever occurred to me when we got them that they would die. Then, just like old people, they started having all of these geriatric health problems. And then I vaguely knew... but I had no idea how bad it would hurt.

Both Saki's and Electra's cremains came in a sealed plastic bag, in a little metal tin. I dumped them out of the bag and into the urn for Saki. But with Electra, we put the entire bag inside the urn. Tim thinks this is much better, and he probably right...

As I read your post I called dibs on being interned with Saki and Electra (or having their ashes mixed with mine). I guess Tim and I could each take some... But it is a lovely idea.