Lucy's Time Is Coming..., Feeling scared and sad Options

[Caroline]

Hi- I haven't posted in awhile. I found this website when I found out that my chocolate lab, Lucy, had been diagnosed with lymphoma a month ago. We put her on prednisone and the last 3-4 weeks have been great. She regained her energy and appetite, but we knew it would be temporary. She has really declined this week and we have decided to have her euthanized on Saturday at home with us.
I am feeling very scared and sad about the whole thing. I know in my heart it is the right thing, but it doesn't offer me any comfort. I can't imagine my life without her. I have read some people's stories about their experiences with euthanizing their little ones and this has helped me prepare somewhat. I would be grateful for any other advice from those of you who have had to make this agonizing decision.
We plan on taking our girl to the beach for one last swim on Saturday. It is hard to believe that this is all real. She is only five and I feel cheated out of many years I had hoped we would spend together. Thank you again for all of the support you at LS have given. Everyone at LS was so kind to me when I initially posted after getting Lucy's diagnosis. I was in complete shock and walked around in a daze for more than a week. Now all I feel is a huge pit in my stomach that won't go away. I know the worst is still to come. I had hoped not to have posted this message for awhile, foolishly thinking that we were going to have more time with her.
Thanks again for listening and for being a shoulder to cry on. It makes me feel better knowing that Lucy will live on through this website.
Caroline

[Kathleen032]

Caroline, I'm so very sorry for you and Lucy. When I read your last post about Lucy being weak and laboring for every breath, it reminded me of Shiloh's last 1 1/2 days. Seeing my baby struggle and pace was heartbreaking.

The day I had Shiloh put down...I kind of went into auto-pilot. I had been up all night the night before with Shiloh...she was so uncomforable. The next morning the auto-pilot thing kicked in. I called the vet, called friends, etc. When I used to think about putting Shiloh down, I'd get scared that I'd fall apart, but I think I instictively went into survival mode. Survival mode didn't make Shiloh's passing any less painful, but it did help me be strong for her. My hope for you is that your survival mode will kick in. Try to be strong for Lucy...remember, she's always looked to you for strength and comfort. As DJ said, you'll do her no favors by hesitating. From my own experience with lymphoma and Shiloh, there's no question in my mind about your decision. You're setting Lucy free...she'll be pain free and cancer free. And, she'll be forever grateful for the gift you are giving her.

Be strong, Caroline.
My thoughts are with you.
Kathleen