Lucy's Time Is Coming..., Feeling scared and sad Options

[Caroline]

Hi- I haven't posted in awhile. I found this website when I found out that my chocolate lab, Lucy, had been diagnosed with lymphoma a month ago. We put her on prednisone and the last 3-4 weeks have been great. She regained her energy and appetite, but we knew it would be temporary. She has really declined this week and we have decided to have her euthanized on Saturday at home with us.
I am feeling very scared and sad about the whole thing. I know in my heart it is the right thing, but it doesn't offer me any comfort. I can't imagine my life without her. I have read some people's stories about their experiences with euthanizing their little ones and this has helped me prepare somewhat. I would be grateful for any other advice from those of you who have had to make this agonizing decision.
We plan on taking our girl to the beach for one last swim on Saturday. It is hard to believe that this is all real. She is only five and I feel cheated out of many years I had hoped we would spend together. Thank you again for all of the support you at LS have given. Everyone at LS was so kind to me when I initially posted after getting Lucy's diagnosis. I was in complete shock and walked around in a daze for more than a week. Now all I feel is a huge pit in my stomach that won't go away. I know the worst is still to come. I had hoped not to have posted this message for awhile, foolishly thinking that we were going to have more time with her.
Thanks again for listening and for being a shoulder to cry on. It makes me feel better knowing that Lucy will live on through this website.
Caroline

[CheriAnn]

Dear Caroline,

I am SO, SO sad to read that sweet Lucy has declined so badly. Like you said, she is still so young. It just doesn't seem fair. However, Lucy is so blessed to have such a caring family that won't let her suffer.

I had a few days to prepare for my Rachael's passing too. I took some short videos of her, even though she looks so weak in them. I wouldn't give up those video clips for any amount of money now! I got plenty of pictures too. Again, I may offend some people, but I even took pictures of her at her weakest, in the end, too. These have really helped me, believe it or not. When the pain felt too much to handle, I had these pictures to remind me of how much pain she had started to endure each day. When I wanted my Rachael back so bad I couldn't breath, I had these pictures to remind me that I really wouldn't want her back to suffer like that. The one regret I have, is that I didn't save a lock of her fur. I never thought of that until I started coming here and reading that in other's postings. Of course, I saved her collar and tags. I think Ann has a great idea too, about getting a paw print. Anything you capture now will mean the world to you later. It may take some time before you can look and touch all these things, but when you become stronger you will cherish them.

I am just so sad for Lucy, it brings me to tears. If you feel the strength for it, I would highly recommend being there and holding Lucy in the end. I know that I thought I would NEVER EVER be able to be there and watch Rachael take her last breath. However, I feel SO much peace knowing that I was able to hold her and be there for her, after she had been there for me for almost 12 years. I do understand that not everyone can do that. I think I just went into "auto-pilot" at the time myself.

PLEASE continue to come here and tell us about your journey. We are all here for you! I will be thinking of your family and Lucy on Saturday and send some prayers. Saturdays can still be tough for me at times too because it was a Saturday that I ended my Rachael's suffering.