Lost Only 'friend', Help! The pain is killing me. Options

[BethAnn]

I so tried to sort through the posts to find information, but I was just aching all the more reading through everyone else's suffering.

I put my Daisy down on Feb 1st. I am 51 years old, and she was my sole companion for 14 years. I have no idea what to do. This pain is torture. Just writing this, I am ready to get sick. I have PTSD to begin with. Chronic/severe depression. Now, throw in all the grief symptoms. I was finally getting better with my Daisy. Now, everything is different. I simply do not like life without her.

I have a psychiatrist. A counselor. I went to a grieving class. But, all I do is cry. The pain in my chest and throat is just getting unbearable. I have to go out and get things done, but I cry. Big obnoxious sobbing and tears. Sometimes I even just have to grab on to something.


I got a 2 year old cat from the Humane Society, and she is the sweetest little thing. But, that is a completely different relationship and experience.


By Chance, does anyone have any more suggestions for me?

[merlin96]

Hi BethAnn,

I am so very sorry for your loss of your precious Daisy. I can really relate to your post as I have a very similar relationship with my own dog. I have physical issues that disable me from working and limit my ability to socialize. I spend a great deal of time at home and pretty much all my time with my dog. In the past 12 years I lost two dogs before him. I know how devastating it is to lose your best friend and primary companion. One of the hardest things I think aside from the fact that you have lost your sole companion, is that to the extent you do try to tell other people how you are feeling, most people can't really understand.

I will tell you some things that helped me get through the worse of the gut-wrenching grief, although to a degree, it's something there is really no way around. You have to go through it. I think that pet loss forums do help, and one that was really good for me was rainbowsbridge.com. It's very active and they also have a chat room if you are into that sort of thing. This is also a great forum, obviously, and one I still keep up with even now.

Some other things that helped me were organizing my pictures and putting together a photo album, writing a journal of all my memories while they were still fresh, and getting a cremations pendant to wear a small amount of my dog's ashes in a pendant. I also found that while I am limited as to what I can do socially, it did help to try to find a meetup or some group to get me out of the house. See if you can find something you are interested in -- book club, yoga, whatever -- just to give yourself a bit of a break.

Eventually, I did decide to adopt again and I do think if you are able to open your heart again, it's a great way to honor the memory of a dog that has passed on. There are a lot of dogs that need homes and while I never went into it feeling like I was replacing the dog that was gone, it did help me to move forward.

Again, I'm really sorry about your loss of Daisy. Each day will get a little easier and hopefully eventually the memories of the wonderful years you had with her will bring you less sadness and more joy.

Take care,

Elsiebronwyn

[BethAnn]

Oh geeze, I hope I am typing this where I am supposed to be. I'm a bit confused with the system here.
So, thank you so much for taking time to write to me. Ugh, how my heart aches and your message was really important to me. I haven't heard of the rainbowbridge site, but I will definitely check it out. Thank you for the ideas too. I started working on having photos developed, but putting it all together in a journal is brilliant. I'll have to figure out where to go to that understands that I just start crying though. I should really focus on finding some group/activity.
Thanks again,
Beth

Hi BethAnn,

I am so very sorry for your loss of your precious Daisy. I can really relate to your post as I have a very similar relationship with my own dog. I have physical issues that disable me from working and limit my ability to socialize. I spend a great deal of time at home and pretty much all my time with my dog. In the past 12 years I lost two dogs before him. I know how devastating it is to lose your best friend and primary companion. One of the hardest things I think aside from the fact that you have lost your sole companion, is that to the extent you do try to tell other people how you are feeling, most people can't really understand.

I will tell you some things that helped me get through the worse of the gut-wrenching grief, although to a degree, it's something there is really no way around. You have to go through it. I think that pet loss forums do help, and one that was really good for me was rainbowsbridge.com. It's very active and they also have a chat room if you are into that sort of thing. This is also a great forum, obviously, and one I still keep up with even now.

Some other things that helped me were organizing my pictures and putting together a photo album, writing a journal of all my memories while they were still fresh, and getting a cremations pendant to wear a small amount of my dog's ashes in a pendant. I also found that while I am limited as to what I can do socially, it did help to try to find a meetup or some group to get me out of the house. See if you can find something you are interested in -- book club, yoga, whatever -- just to give yourself a bit of a break.

Eventually, I did decide to adopt again and I do think if you are able to open your heart again, it's a great way to honor the memory of a dog that has passed on. There are a lot of dogs that need homes and while I never went into it feeling like I was replacing the dog that was gone, it did help me to move forward.

Again, I'm really sorry about your loss of Daisy. Each day will get a little easier and hopefully eventually the memories of the wonderful years you had with her will bring you less sadness and more joy.

Take care,

Elsiebronwyn