Lost Only 'friend', Help! The pain is killing me. Options

[BethAnn]

I so tried to sort through the posts to find information, but I was just aching all the more reading through everyone else's suffering.

I put my Daisy down on Feb 1st. I am 51 years old, and she was my sole companion for 14 years. I have no idea what to do. This pain is torture. Just writing this, I am ready to get sick. I have PTSD to begin with. Chronic/severe depression. Now, throw in all the grief symptoms. I was finally getting better with my Daisy. Now, everything is different. I simply do not like life without her.

I have a psychiatrist. A counselor. I went to a grieving class. But, all I do is cry. The pain in my chest and throat is just getting unbearable. I have to go out and get things done, but I cry. Big obnoxious sobbing and tears. Sometimes I even just have to grab on to something.


I got a 2 year old cat from the Humane Society, and she is the sweetest little thing. But, that is a completely different relationship and experience.


By Chance, does anyone have any more suggestions for me?

[moon_beam]

Hi, BethAnn, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Daisy. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company.

Merlin has offered you many wonderful comforting suggestions to help you with your grief journey. I too am a single senior woman with physical challenges including PTSD and know from first hand experience how agonizingly painful the deep grief you are now going through. This grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. Unfortunately there is no easy way to navigate this grief journey, BethAnn - - the deep grief cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month - - it is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. It is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride with the many ups and downs twists and turns and turnarounds that can literally make you feel physically ill.

One of the many things you need to remember is that you are not alone. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both physically and emotionally, yes - - but is still very normal. The grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is identical to the grief journey for the physical loss of a human loved one. As Merlin so compassionately shared with you sometimes it is the people who are the closest to us geographically, emotionally, and socially that simply do not understand the depths of sorrow in experiencing the physical loss of a beloved companion. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here - - as a safe place where you can come to share whatever is in your heart and on your mind without fear of rejection. And having gone through professional counseling several years ago for a traumatic event that permanently changed my life physically and emotionally I know that not every counselor is trained to help someone who is grieving the physical loss of a beloved companion. Sadly there are still professionals in all levels of medical practice who believe that a "cat is just a cat, a dog is just a dog", etc.. Trying to share your grief with people who do not understand can only intensify your grief, so it is best to avoid speaking about your grief to people you know simply do not understand. It is important for you to know you are among friends here who do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

It is comforting to know you have a new precious soul to love and care for. No, it is not the same as your love for your beloved Daisy - - it isn't supposed to be - - because your new precious companion has a heart and spirit and personality of her own to find her own special place in your heart - - and from what you share with us it sounds like she has succeeded. The good news is that the love bond you and your beloved Daisy share is eternal - - it is not restricted by the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Daisy's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, BethAnn - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I do know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Daisy with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, BethAnn, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam