Puddin .... Our Little Man! Options

[PuddinsMum]

I am a new member to this forum and I just want to say THANKYOU for it being here! I lost my Puddin Saturday morning and spent the whole of Saturday night on here, reading all your beautiful words and poems. I cannot tell you how much that helped me ... just by knowing, I am not on my own and there are others that feel the exact same way I do. I appreciate it so much! I don't know what I would've done without your wisdoms!

Puddin' was our 'darling' that we rescued from the Humane Society - I will never forget our first meeting. I was looking through all the cages, opening the doors and loving each cat individually .... when I came upon, Puddin .... I opened the door to introduce myself, when he got up on his hind legs and put each of his paws on my shoulders, kind of like grabbing and hugging me ... that was it, that was my boy after that! I can remember thinking how beautiful he was and I just couldn't believe that someone would abandon him! He was still a kitten at that time but you could tell by the size of his paws and nose that he was going to be BIG!

Everyone that came to our house was scared of him (makes me smile to think that) .... but after a visit or two, they would see what a beautiful and gentle creature he was. No one could believe how big he was too .... but if you saw how much he ate ... you would believe it We 'tried' to make him an indoor cat ... but everytime the kids would leave the door open, he was GONE ..... I spent the most of one summer, running after him .... in the end, I gave up, he knew what he wanted and no one was going to stop him! He was the dominant cat of the neighbourhood, he would lay on the roofs of our cars, assessing and watching what was going on ... if there was a fight, Puddin was normally in it! He would protect our other baby girl "Angel" who would give him a 'lick' of thanks when he would come back in the house. He was such a 'toughy' outside but in our home, he was the gentlest cat ever. When my daughter was 3, she would sometimes pull at his hair or mess with him, he would just sit there and not do a thing.. I would say for him to move but he was so patient, so loving and so beautiful. When his food bowl was empty, he would rub his big body around your legs so you couldn't walk! If he was hungry in the middle of the night, he would go and bite my youngest daughter on her cheek to wake her up, she only told me this Saturday, when she asked me "Why did Puddin use to bite my cheek in the night?", it made me smile, he was such a character! I knew what he was doing .... he would do the same thing to my 10 yr old daughter too! Pudding loved a lovin' .... so much that he would dribble puddles all over you! Then get so excited, and nip you

Last Thursday, he came in from outside and didn't go to his food bowl ... I KNEW something was wrong. That just wasn't Pud Pud. I had to go help a friend, so I left the house for a couple of hours. Upon my return, I found Pud Pud on my bedroom floor panting ... he was walking from room to room and seemed like he couldnt relax. I phoned my Mum in the UK and told her what was happening and she said, if he is panting, that normally means he is in pain! Not my Pud! I phoned the vets straight away and my hubby came home from work. We got to the vets and they told us he had a blocked uretha, if he didnt have the op/catheter, he would die. They said it was quite common in male cats. A male cat came in with the same problem at the time we were there. He would probably be coming out Friday or Saturday. I left thinking he is safe now, our baby will be home soon. I went back to see him in the afternoon and he just didn't look good at all, just laying there with no life in his eyes. The other cat, was up and trying to get his neck collar off. This scared me. I thought it was common and not serious. Friday night, I spent the night on the Internet researching FLUTD - Blocked Urethra and found that it is very serious.

Saturday morning, we had to make the very painful decision of euthanasia, Puddins muscles was not doing what they should be doing and he could no longer go to the bathroom by himself. I have so much guilt it is painful, I cannot believe I missed the signs that were there! If I would have caught this earlier, Puddin would still be here. Now, I am an expert on it .... and would definitely know the signs but up until Puddin became sick, I had never heard of this in cats? I am no longer feeding Angel dried commercial cat food and am loving her as much as I can. I know she misses her little boy Pud (Angel is 12 years old and Puddin was 4). I am also having problems with my Yorkie, Tootsie, she knew Puddin was sick the morning I took him to the vets and now she sits on her Doggy Couch looking out the window looking for him ... I am not sure what I can do to help her .... apart from hugs n cuddles!

I apologise if my writing is 'all over the place' ... my mind is not 100% right now. I thankyou all for being here, I cannot tell you what a lovely site this is. It is very hard to talk about your love of a pet with many people ... because it seems, they 'just don't get it' ..... My life has been enriched by Puddin's love and I will never forget him. He was one our babies and always will be .... I love you so much Pud Pud! There willl never be another one like you - irreplacable!

Love n Hugz to all!

Jayne, Tootsie & Angel.

[PuddinsMum]

Hi AbbysMommy,

I am so sorry to hear about your baby Abby,bless her little heart, she was TOO cute ... she looked like she was a little rascal, a cheeky little face with eager eyes! Enough to bring a smile to my face! How blessed we were Abbysmommy ... look what these beautiful little animals have done to us .... the impact it has brought on us by losing them! It is only in Puddins passing, that I have truly realised how much I loved him ... I loved him before ... but I just didn't realise it was going to be like this. I don't think we even realise we take things for granted until we get that wake up call .... another guilt trip of mine.

Thankyou so much for your soothing words. It sounds like you are going through your own guilt too .... I know it is 'normal' with bereavement, but it is SO painful. I too am angry with my vet and do not want to take my other two animals there again ... but I know the pain is very raw still, so I'm going to give it time to see how I feel then. When you take your baby to the vet, it gives you the security of knowing that they are in the 'safest place possible' and when things don't go the way they SHOULD go, it takes alot out of you. I never once dreamed that Puddin wouldn;t be coming home, as I know you didn't Abby either. It is SO hard, impossible to describe that void, impossible to describe that love, impossible to describe the emptiness. The love that is shared between your pet and yourself, is so personal ... we really don't look at our animals like animals .. they are really our babies.

We once had a stray cat come to our home that was injured ... every day hubby would leave, I would bring him in and lay him on a blanket .... I named him Tigger. I eventually, got around hubby to take him to the vet (I think he had been bitten on his tail and it had become infected) and he became part of our family. He was fine for the first few months, then he would hide under the Christmas tree and 'attack' feet as they walked past, I didnt think nothing of it, just thought he way playing .... then, we had friends stay one night, and she woke me up saying the cat was attacking them in their sleep .... then he attacked my daughter during the night, leaving a deep scratch and drawing blood. It was then that I realised that I couldn't make him into a family cat, he was, as the song goes ... 'born to be wild'. Tigger and the barn cats LOVE the outside and do not like the RULES that apply in our homes. I bet they have so much fun with all that space and all those MICE!!!

Don't be too hard on yourself about the vet AbbysMommy, you did not know .... just like me, I did not know either ... if we had've known, we would've done everything in our power to make our babies better .... and Abby and Puddin both know that ... they are with us, their paws prints are all over our hearts (and minds!)

Thankyou AbbysMom, for taking the time to reply to my letter. I truly appreciate it!

Jayne
PuddinsMum