My Beloved Noah Options

[moon_beam]

At 1:52 a.m. I received a call from Noah's overnight physician from the ER hospital. A "quick" ultrasound was done on Noah at some point after I left visiting him, and fluid was found in his abdomen. A sample of the fluid was taken which showed definite bacteria - - which means something in my precious Noah's abdomen was perforated or leaking. This is always considered a surgical emergency, which I approved.

At 2:20 a.m. the surgeon called me to let me know that there was nothing she could do for my precious Noah. His stomach had ruptured from multiple tumors and there was nothing but dead tissue in place of his stomach. The only thing that could be done for him was to mercifully transition him from this earthly realm. She agreed that she could keep Noah comfortable under anesthesia until I arrived to be with him when the drugs were administered. I arrived at the hospital around 3:20 a.m., and around 3:30 a.m. Noah joined his beautiful sibling baby sister Abbygayle and adopted big kitty brother Eli in heaven's perfect garden.

Needless to say my heart is aching right now and the tears are flowing, but there are so many things I am thankful for - - one of them having had the honor and privilege of being his human caregiver all the 14 years of his sweet physical life. I will get a pawprint and his ashes back sometime within the next week.

I want to thank each of you for your comforting support during this time of great sorrow,

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[moon_beam]

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for your most welcome support and encouragement with my grief journey. It is the wonderful people like you, Kathy, LoveMyMicky, and others on this forum who offer me consistent comfort as I am expected to put on the "public face" with family and friends - - the standard "it's time to get over it" with the mentality that my beloved Noah is "only a cat." Everything I do now - - wash his blankets before putting them away in storage, etc., is for the "last time" - - he will never need them again for his travel crate and stroller - - he will never need his soft fleece throw to warm him during these cold winter months snuggled next to me. This is a very sad turn of events at this stage in my life - - when by "chronological" years I'm still a "young person" for my senior years yet with my now medical challenges I have the physical body of a very aged person who can become seriously crippled quickly at any point in time barely able to take care of herself - - and completely unable to take care of a companion. And it still breaks my heart as I recall this past summer with my precious Noah having to listen to me screaming and crying in excruciating pain - - now knowing that all during this time his sweet body was becoming invaded by an ugly disease that would eventually cause him suffering the last hours of his physical life. I am thankful that the last weeks of his life I was finally on medication that significantly reduced the pain in my body so that my beloved Noah no longer had to listen to me screaming and crying in pain, and that I was physically strong enough to get him to the medical care he needed to try to keep him comfortable until he transitioned from this earthly journey. But - - he should be here with me NOW as I continue with my treatments to try to enable me to function consistently with lower pain levels so that we could enjoy this time together. I know in time this deep grief will ease - - but for now it's a burden sometimes more than I can bear alone - - and I'm sooo thankful I"m not alone having the strength of you and the other wonderful people on this forum to share my sorrow with. This is a blessing to me, and I thank you, Tracy, for your friendship.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[LittleGirl's...]

Moon_beam, thank you for sharing with us how you are doing. We sure do care about you and are here for you. I am so sorry to hear that your family and friends viewed your precious Noah as "only a cat." I will never understand the people who feel this way !

Regarding your medical issues that have had you screaming in pain---remember that cats were designed by nature to hide their medical issues, whereas we humans were not. There is nothing you overlooked or did wrong on sweet Noah's behalf!! He's right there with you thanking you and wanting only the best for the Best Mommy in the World.

-Kathy