Probably Have To Let My Little Boy Go Options

[Berlin]

I haven't been on this site since my old dog, Vienna, died almost exactly 4 years ago. Now I'm facing probably having to put the dog I got after a Vienna died, Raskal, to sleep next week. He was 10 years old when I got him. So I knew I wouldn't have a lot of years with him. But I love him so much that I can't imagine living without him. I know my life will go on. But I'm so sad already that I almost can't function. He hasn't been willing to eat much for several weeks and I'm now having to feed him by syringe. He perks up sometimes. But he's mainly asleep. The vet is trying several options to treat immune-involved hemolytic anemia. But she said she may not have "gotten in front of it." I feel bad being pessimistic when he might still have a chance of turning around. But he's 14, so whether it's now or next year,this is really going to hurt. I don't want to put him down if he might still have a chance. But I really think I'll have to make this horrible decision next week after the vet tries one more option. I have two other dogs that I love very much. But Raskal's my special buddy. He's always been my favorite since I got him. I know I have to do what's best for him. But I hate it. And the rollercoaster I've been on since he stopped eating - crying when he isn't doing well, being super happy when he perks up and eats something - is exhausting. I don't really have anyone to talk to who understands how important he is to me...or they're uncomfortable with me being sad. So I appreciate having this opportunity to just get these feelings out. I'm just going to miss my little Raskal so much!

[moon_beam]

Hi, Berlin, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. A loss - - whatever it is - - presents its own individual grief journey. I can certainly empathize with how you're feeling about your mom, as I experienced a similar situation with my mom during her long recovery from the treatment for cancer and treatment induced stroke. Not being able to have your mom's support at this time adds to your grief about the prospects of the physical loss of your precious Raskal. Just because you are a professional psychologist does not mean you relinquish your natural human feelings. I hope you're able to find a therapist who can help you both during this time of Anticipatory Grief as well as whenever your precious Raskal is no longer physically with you - - in addition to knowing that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Raskal kindly, Berlin. Please know you and your precious boy are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you and your precious Raskal are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam