Losing My Best Friend Of 23 Years. I'm In So Much Pain. Options

[Journogirl]

Sleep tight my beautiful angel Marmite. 23 years old, my best friend since I was 10. It's been an epic love affair ❤️ This little this angel has looked after me through these past decades, through good times and bad-broken hearts, broken bones, illness, family changes, ups, downs & 3 different houses. Whatever went down in life ( recently a painful divorce for me) my little black and white baby was there with so much love...following me all over and giving me so much joy. She was such a personality & such a happy vocal little soul. (my neighbour 2 doors down could even hear her meow! SO LOUD!) These past few weeks it was my turn to look after her, feed her by hand, and cuddle her tired old little aching bones. Oh Marms, I just wanted you around forever 😕 there's no cat better than you my darling-my little feline best pal, what a beautiful brilliant little angel. You brought so much happiness to us all. We'll all miss you so much my angel ❤️ Sleep tight precious, I'll miss you every second of every single day.

It hurts so so much. The aching in my heart and soul is so epic that I want to tear my heart out. I'm just heartbroken.
I've raised marmite since she was 6 weeks old and I was 10. She thought I was her mother. I was.
The pain is so much. I just miss her so so much. I loved her so deeply.
I had to make the choice to have her put to sleep, I have guilt and so many unanswered questions. Was it the right thing?
Should i have bought her home? It hurts so much. I miss her so much. I feel so lonely now. My heart is broken.

I wrote this poem. I hope it can help some of you lovely people here. We are all hurting.

We may not have tomorrow,
But do not say goodbye,
For I am all around you,
I do not tell a lie.
I'm the sunrise in the morning,
The sun that sets at night.
I'm the birdsong in the treetops
I'm the early morning light

Wherever you go, I'll go
And I'll hold you by the hand,
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm the footprints in the sand.

You'll never have to leave me
And we'll never have to part
For my love is all around you
And you'll carry me in your heart.

Sleep tight Angel marmite. My life was beautiful for having you as my beloved baby ***

Attached image(s)

 

[moon_beam]

Hi, Journogirl, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Marmite. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Journogirl, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions we all experiences is guilt / remorse for this comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts when we are so emotionally vulnerable. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Marmite a happy and healthy earthly journey. I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Marmite knows that you love her and that your decision to release her sweet Living Spirit from her failing, frail physical body is a decision that you made from the deepest love you have for her - - you put her needs above yours especially at a time when your heart was breaking under the burden of deepest sorrow.

This is what love is, Journogiril. And the good news in the midst of all this pain is that the love bond you and your beloved Marmite share is eternal - - it is not restricted by the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Marmite's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Marmite with us, and these wonderful pictures of your beautiful girl. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Journogirl, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam