Guilt About Euthanasia, Did I do it too soon? Options

[I miss Squeaky]

I feel so much guilt. My cat Squeaky was old ( 17 + years) and so skinny. She would eat sometimes and would love her food then the next day hate it. I tried so many kinds of cat food, boiled chicken etc. She was vomiting and I was trying to give her pills, but it was so hard to get her to swallow the pills and I felt I was hurting her.. Finally, she seemed to have began to lose control of her back legs. I thought it was time. But now I regret not waiting a few days

[moon_beam]

Hi, Sqeaky's Guardian, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Squeaky. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

As our Website Administrator has so comfortingly shared with you I would like to affirm his wise words: Your beloved Squeaky is so grateful to you for releasing her from her frail, failing, painful physical body even though it breaks your heart to be without her precious physical presence. This is what unselflish love is - - putting the needs of your beloved Squeaky ahead of your own wants and desires.

This grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions we all experience is guilt / remorse because it comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the things that were happening that we didn't understand at the time they were happening, and trying to make sense of all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts and minds at a time when we are so emotionally vulnerable. I promise you, Squeaky's Guardian, it will not always be this way. Hopefully in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Squeaky is eternally grateful to you for everything you did for her during her earthly journey.

The good news in the midst of all this pain is the reality that love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Squeaky's sweet Living Spirit will always and forever be a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your belvoed Squeaky with us. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture of her - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Squeaky's Guardian, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam