Missing Our Sweet Beagle Almond, Still can't believe it Options

[Thea]

Our poor baby was gone from us too soon. Last Saturday, we lost our Almond. I'm still in disbelief. I feel so devastated. That day, it felt like everything was against us. A late diagnosis despite being in and out of the clinic since Tuesday, no access for a blood transfusion, and me already being just outside the clinic when I heard the terrible news. Almond was our first dog, who was only just over a year old. Perhaps that's what makes it all the more painful. I feel responsible like I didn't take care of him enough, that maybe if we had access to better medical care he would be okay. I try not to think of the "what ifs" or the "maybe". But it's still there- the guilt and the blame just in the back of my mind. I know it's no use thinking about it, that we had no idea it would be this way, but all this negativity still finds a way to drown me.
Every moment still breaks my heart. Especially when I realize he really isn't here anymore. Like when I see the scratches on the door when he tried to reach the doorknob, the corner of the table he chewed on as a teething pup, the special collar with a bow tie he was supposed to wear for Christmas or no longer needing the small gate in the hallway or to hide my shoes. The house feels so empty. So quiet. I'm trying to accept that he really is gone and that he's in a better place happy and no longer in pain. I've made a memorial page to help cope with the loss but there are still moments that I miss him terribly especially when I remember favorite moments like him chasing my feet under the blanket, his silly little walk and wagging tail, curling up into a ball to sleep, showing his belly the moment I start petting him. Our sweet little Almond, I was hoping for more time together. More playing, lovely walks, games of fetch and chase. I know when the time comes we'll see you again and we can play and walk on the lush green grass, sleep while the gentle winds sing a lullaby and never be separated again. You will always be in our hearts, little one. Rest well and until we meet again.

[Thea]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for all your kind messages.

We were able to bring Almond home yesterday and it was quite an emotional journey. As much as I wanted him home, I never imagined I would be bringing him back in this way.

I decided to put him on the shelf where I used to keep his things. It's just to the left of my bed so I think it's nice I get to see him before and after I sleep. For now it's just a simple memorial but I'm planning to add more photos or to put in an album. For the cast of his paw print we'll have a stand made so it can be upright on its own and we're looking for a nice frame to go with his photo. I think it was also a nice touch that they got all 3 colors of his fur which is displayed under the cast. I decided to put his smaller items on the shelf like his sweater, bow tie, harness and name tag. I'm just sad he never got to wear the bow tie for Christmas.

The shelf below is also empty so I might put the album and photos there and the bigger things he liked there like his blankets and leash since he always got so excited when I brought it out. He loved walks no matter if it was to the park nearby or just around our street.

I still miss him a lot, but it's comforting to have him home again.

Wishing you all the best,
Thea

Attached image(s)

 

[LittleGirl's...]

Thea,

I love your Memorial !! Beautiful and special ! I like the sounds of your plans to add more precious photos and a stand for his paw print . I am sure Almond is smiling and feeling very loved.

Keep in touch. Looking forward to the additions to the Memorial !

Kathy
Oh, and I love that this treasured spot is right beside your bed.

[Thea]

Hi Kathy,

Thank you! It's been a great help fixing up his Memorial. We got a dark wood picture frame to match the rest of the colors and I got a candle for Christmas so I added it there as well though we still haven't found a stand for his paw print cast so we might have one made instead. I hope he is My family came home for the holidays and everyone's been missing him so it's nice they got to see the Memorial.

Thanks Kathy, I realized it was the best place to put it since he loved that spot in my room. When he was a puppy he would sleep in the bottom shelf and even when he grew he would still try to fit himself in there. It's these nice memories that make me happy to have Almond in my life. Though I wish he was with us longer, I at least still have these wonderful memories to keep.

Wishing you all the best,
Thea