Missing Our Sweet Beagle Almond, Still can't believe it Options

[Thea]

Our poor baby was gone from us too soon. Last Saturday, we lost our Almond. I'm still in disbelief. I feel so devastated. That day, it felt like everything was against us. A late diagnosis despite being in and out of the clinic since Tuesday, no access for a blood transfusion, and me already being just outside the clinic when I heard the terrible news. Almond was our first dog, who was only just over a year old. Perhaps that's what makes it all the more painful. I feel responsible like I didn't take care of him enough, that maybe if we had access to better medical care he would be okay. I try not to think of the "what ifs" or the "maybe". But it's still there- the guilt and the blame just in the back of my mind. I know it's no use thinking about it, that we had no idea it would be this way, but all this negativity still finds a way to drown me.
Every moment still breaks my heart. Especially when I realize he really isn't here anymore. Like when I see the scratches on the door when he tried to reach the doorknob, the corner of the table he chewed on as a teething pup, the special collar with a bow tie he was supposed to wear for Christmas or no longer needing the small gate in the hallway or to hide my shoes. The house feels so empty. So quiet. I'm trying to accept that he really is gone and that he's in a better place happy and no longer in pain. I've made a memorial page to help cope with the loss but there are still moments that I miss him terribly especially when I remember favorite moments like him chasing my feet under the blanket, his silly little walk and wagging tail, curling up into a ball to sleep, showing his belly the moment I start petting him. Our sweet little Almond, I was hoping for more time together. More playing, lovely walks, games of fetch and chase. I know when the time comes we'll see you again and we can play and walk on the lush green grass, sleep while the gentle winds sing a lullaby and never be separated again. You will always be in our hearts, little one. Rest well and until we meet again.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Thea, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm so very glad to share your news that you are being able to save some of his belongings that were not affected by his illness. I know from first hand experience how special this is. I still have items from beloved companions who have been with the angels for many years in a memory storage box. I will look forward to seeing the photo of your beloved Almond's memorial whenever you are able to share it with us.

Even now in my very senior years I can still sometimes feel a mist come to my eyes even while I'm smiling when I think of my beloved companions who have been with the angels for many decades. There is a saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" - - and this is certainly true when it applies being physically separated from our beloved companions.

Thea, like our forum friends Kathy and Lynette, I am also glad you have the comforting support of others who are with you. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us - - there are no "expiration dates" for sharing with us what is in your heart.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Thea, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Almond's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
mopn_beam

[Thea]

Hi moon_beam,

Yes it was a bit of a silver lining. He loved blankets and towels and I'm glad I got to keep some for him as a memory. I'm just sad we couldn't keep any of his toys. He especially loved chew toys and balls (he loved to play fetch!) and also liked treat dispensing toys. I remember having to break his treats in half so they could fit inside. He would spend several minutes or even hours playing just trying to get every piece.

I think having a memory storage box is a nice idea. I'm sure your beloved companions are touched by the idea that you keep each memory of them in your heart.

Perhaps it does moon_beam. I miss Almond every day but I hope one day I can think of him with a smile as well. Thank you so much for all the comfort and support as well as keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. We may have never met in person, but your words have given me so much encouragement and hope and I can feel the warmth even through the screen. Thank you so very much.

Wishing you all the best,
Thea