Missing Our Sweet Beagle Almond, Still can't believe it Options

[Thea]

Our poor baby was gone from us too soon. Last Saturday, we lost our Almond. I'm still in disbelief. I feel so devastated. That day, it felt like everything was against us. A late diagnosis despite being in and out of the clinic since Tuesday, no access for a blood transfusion, and me already being just outside the clinic when I heard the terrible news. Almond was our first dog, who was only just over a year old. Perhaps that's what makes it all the more painful. I feel responsible like I didn't take care of him enough, that maybe if we had access to better medical care he would be okay. I try not to think of the "what ifs" or the "maybe". But it's still there- the guilt and the blame just in the back of my mind. I know it's no use thinking about it, that we had no idea it would be this way, but all this negativity still finds a way to drown me.
Every moment still breaks my heart. Especially when I realize he really isn't here anymore. Like when I see the scratches on the door when he tried to reach the doorknob, the corner of the table he chewed on as a teething pup, the special collar with a bow tie he was supposed to wear for Christmas or no longer needing the small gate in the hallway or to hide my shoes. The house feels so empty. So quiet. I'm trying to accept that he really is gone and that he's in a better place happy and no longer in pain. I've made a memorial page to help cope with the loss but there are still moments that I miss him terribly especially when I remember favorite moments like him chasing my feet under the blanket, his silly little walk and wagging tail, curling up into a ball to sleep, showing his belly the moment I start petting him. Our sweet little Almond, I was hoping for more time together. More playing, lovely walks, games of fetch and chase. I know when the time comes we'll see you again and we can play and walk on the lush green grass, sleep while the gentle winds sing a lullaby and never be separated again. You will always be in our hearts, little one. Rest well and until we meet again.

[lynette]

Hi Thea.

You're welcome (about the candle). I finally went there that same day and set up a memorial page for George who we lost two years ago. I already have for Hunny and Lily, but just hadn't gotten around to doing one for George. God, I miss my angels. The pain comes and goes even now after all this time. I will miss them till the day I day. I guess it doesn't help that I have all these rescue shelters on my Facebook. All the sad stories that keep getting posted day after day. I guess I'm a sucker for punishment.

Anyway, I hope today is finding you better.

Take care.

Lynette.

[Thea]

Hi Lynette,

Thank you again. I'm so sorry for the loss of your George, Hunny and Lily. If it's all right, would you like to share their pages? It would be nice to visit and light candles for them as well. I know how you feel Lynette. I'm starting to feel a bit better but there are just moments when I miss Almond terribly. And even after countless years we'd still feel the loss of their physical self but I'm sure they're watching over us and want us to know that they're happy and no longer in pain. And when the time comes, we'll get to see them again.

Wishing you all the best,
Thea