My Sweet Lab And Lymphoma Cancer Options

[Ankababy]

I know what I should do but I am still holding onto my 12.5 year old lab. People say "you will know when it's time." I think I do but I don't. I know but I don't want to. Yes, someone should kick me. I'm not ready but I should. I can't keep showing up at work with swollen eyes from crying myself to sleep. So pathetic.

So this creature of mine that I love so very much is Anka. She was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer 4 weeks ago after we noticed heavy panting and lumps around her neck, shoulders and stomach. And then we received the dreaded news. I cried for days and haven't really stopped when I'm at home. I'm pretty sure she feels worst. Unable to breathe properly. We put her on steroid medication and she was back to her old self for 2 weeks. Unfortunately, the medicine is no longer effective. Her breathing is heavily labored, all the time especially when she is sleeping, stopped eating, lost weight, goes for short walks only and lately snorts/whimpers. She doesn't eat her food but eats cheese and treats.

I scheduled at home appointment to put her down this Saturday. It was a hard decision, I went back and forth on it for what seems like a million times. I can't and don't want her to suffer. But each time she seems like her old self, comes in for snuggles and eats her food, I feel hopeful again. Sadly there are more bad than good days. I'll miss you my dearest sweet Anka. Mommy loves you forever.

I need the courage to see this thru. I had no idea this would be so very hard.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Anka's Mom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Anka. Your beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit is now embraced in the company of the angels and all the residents of heaven's perfect garden enjoying the freedom you have given her from her failing, frail, painful physical body. She is eternally grateful to you for this great gift of unselfish love, and although she is no longer in this physical realm, her sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a heartbeat close to you - - because of love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when we are navigating the deep grief journey there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Anka with us. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Anka's Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam