Not For Me, But For My Hannah, It Hurts When Hardly Anyone Replies Options

[BabyHannahsMom]

I posted a tribute to my beautiful little girl Hannah who has been gone nine months and one day now. I got two private messages from two of my friends here and a response from Ann. Not many people have even looked at Hannah's tribute.

I know I haven't been replying a lot lately to many of your posts; however, I have in the past. I have been a member here now since April and have been a very active member and have really tried to help. I come here as often as I can because I really do care and really want to help, but as you all know, sometimes it becomes overwhelming and we have to take a break. So, I have done that from time to time, to keep my sanity, to try to break out of the deep depression I experienced for so long.

I don't know if that is why so few of you have read my tribute to Hannah or not. It really hurts me that only 20 something people have even looked at my post. If not for me, but for my girl and to acknowledge that she was a very important little girl, that her life to ya'll too, and that her story is worth at least a short response. And my story too, and my feelings. I still have no one really who I can talk to about Hannah, and I just wish I did. When that fact isn't even acknowledged here, it hurts. It hurts a lot to know that only some of you even looked to see what I had posted.

It feels like nobody cares about me or Hannah. I basically stopped "crying" aloud to anyone quite some time ago because it seems nobody listens or wants to listen. It makes me feel like I haven't been much help and that nobody is interested in what I have to say. Even several of you that I considered to be good friends, not one word have I heard from you since Christmas. It just makes me so sad. I'd rather not say anything anymore at all than to be ignored. I guess I have offended some of you in some way. If I have, I apologize.

I loved my little girl Hannah, and I miss her so very much. Even though it has been nine months now, the pain is still very much with me, the need to talk about her and to have someone listen is very important to me. The world is not a very nice place without her and now to be ignored on this board as if we don't even matter, is more than I can take. It just hurts too much. I am sorry.

[beth4275]

Dear Marcia and Romeo's Dad,

I don't post as often as I would like anymore and for that I apologize. I have been coming here for a little over a year and I admit that when I first lost my little man I would post almost every day but as time wore on it became too painful to read every day. I read the tributes when I can but I am guilty of rarely responding to them as it didn't occur to me that a response was needed. The tributes (in my mind) are a conversation between those left behind and those that have gone on. My apologies.

Romeo's Dad:

You are entitled to your opinion. Please don't stop coming here and posting because you think someone may not have liked what you had to say. I wasn't insulted by your post and you weren't nasty so in my mind there is nothing to apologize for.

For the newcomers here: I lost my Snoops in Sept. '03. He was my "heart dog" and losing him was probably the worst experience of my life. I never would have believed that something could hurt as badly as losing him did. At the time I thought I would never be happy again but since I have learned that life does indeed go on and the hurt (while still present) does become bearable. I have learned that although there is a piece of my heart that will forever belong to my little man there are other pieces (some of which now belong to my two little rascals Rosie and Basil). The last year has been a learning experience for me. My Basil was diagnosed last February with Legge Perthes disease in both back legs ... two surgeries and months of rehabilitaion later he is doing fine. I was one of the one who got a new furbaby pretty quickly and while it was a rough go at times I firmly believe it was the best thing for me.

So Marcia, please accept my apologies for not posting a reply ... I did read the tribute and in the future I will remember how important those responses are to the poster.

Hugs,
Beth