Let Me Elaborate A Little... Options

[Romeo's_daddy]

I have not and will not single any members out with regard to my response to Baby Hannah's Mom. I feel bad that some members have been offering apologies. I do not know your personal situations. Part of me feels like maybe some of the people I've made reference to don't have anyone else in their lives. So when their babies die, they are truly alone. I am lucky. I don't have friends or a girlfriend, but I have my parents. Perhaps if I didn't have them, I would be one of the members that I recently made reference to. But what I also know is that a lot of good advice is given here. After Romeo died I remembered that advice and used it to help myself. I think maybe that some of these members may be getting caught up in their emotions and perhaps not giving enough thought to some of the advice they have received, and using that advice to help themselves heal. I don't know, I'm not in anyone else's head, but I know what's worked for me. Don't get me wrong. I'm not all better. I still cry, I still hurt, and I'll always miss Romeo. But I cannot allow his loss to rule my life, because that is not any kind of life at all and I know Romeo wouldn't want me to be a prisoner to my grief.

[LS Support]

Part of me feels like maybe some of the people I've made reference to don't have anyone else in their lives. So when their babies die, they are truly alone.

this is more common than some might believe. i have a friend who was unable to have children, and when one of her kitties dies, she grieves heavily.

one of the reasons why i became involved in the pet loss community online is because i first ended up at a newsgroup called alt.support.grief. this group is for loss of humans, but unable to find much else i posted there about tribble. at first, most people were sympathetic but then several individuals came forth and said that the grief of losing a pet is way beyond secondary to that of losing a human. it started a whole flame war, etc. so i created alt.support.grief.pet-loss and then coded this board to help grieving pet lovers.

over the years, i have come to realize that there is a wide variance of degree of grief for animals (i have covered this before in other posts, so wont go into detail). when it comes to people who have not had children and consider their pets to be their children, the grief tends to run much deeper. not to say that anyone wont experience great grief, but as a group those without kids, friends, family, even other pets do take it a bit harder and need a different level of support....even to the point of, as romeo's dad says, where the grief rules their life and being. in most cases, this grief mellows with time, some of longer or shorter duration than others.