Guilt Over My Precious Baby's Death From Snakebite, RIP Jackie Options

[annelize]

Hi I live in South Africa in Mpumalanga (in the woods). I had 5 furbabies. 4 jack russels and a boerboel. My dogs just love the woods and I use to take them in the woods for a walk twice a week and then I would take their leashes of and they would explore. But on 29 May 2015 my whole life changed into a nightmare when one of my precious jack russels x baby Jackie was suddenly bitten by a huge puff adder. I was too scared to try and save her and all I could do is grab her and rushed her to the vet. The vet administrated 5 viles of antivenom and she was in ICU the whole night but sadly passed away the next morning due to anaphylaxis. My heart was in pieces. I couldnt believe that I could not save my baby. The guilt I have now is because I took her into the woods into the danger. I took her to the snake not knowing it was there and I couldnt drag her away or do something to save her. I miss her lively little voice and wet nose so much I dont know if I will ever get over this.

[moon_beam]

Hi, annelize, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Jackie. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion so suddenly and tragically intensifies the grief.

Annelize, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. Unfortunately guilt / remorse is one of the more difficult emotions all of us experience because it comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts at a time when we are so emotionally vulnerable.

Sadly, we are not omnipotent - - we do not have the foreknowledge of what will happen, when it will happen. You did the only thing you could do for your beloved Jackie - - you got her to veterinary care as quickly as you could after the snake bite. If you had tried to intervene at the time the attack was occurring you could have risked being bitten as well which would not have helped your beloved Jackie - - or your other precious companions. Sometimes veterinary medicine can restore our companions to a good quality of health when they experience an illness / injury, and other times the only thing we and the veterinary care providers can do is our best even when our efforts are not successful. As with all predators, snakes blend in with the terrain as part of their survival defense so that they are not easily seen, and are opportunistic when they attack.

There is no doubt from what you share with us that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Jackie a happy, healthy earthly journey. You are now faced with the agonizingly painful journey of re-adjusting your life without the physical presence of your beloved Jackie. This is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time sometimes one moment at a time for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.

Although your beloved Jackie is no longer physically with you, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Jackie share. Love is eternal, annelize - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Jackie's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of deep sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Jackie with us, annelize. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, annelize, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam