Pj - Please Read Options

[hewasmybestfrien...]

In April, I adopted my parents' cat PJ, and brought her to live with me. I grew up with her, we adopted her when I was in high school. She is a beautiful fat brown and white rag doll who has never hurt anyone or anything in her life. She likes to communicate in either chirps or very breathy silent meows, and loves to snuggle and spoon with me and will flop down and then wriggle until she is perfectly comfortable. I have such a long history with her. She is 11 years old. When I first brought her to live with me I had an exam and bloodwork done, nothing too abnormal.

On Monday, she started vomiting bile, and stopped eating. I took her to work with me (I work at a vet) Tuesday for anti nausea meds. On Wednesday we did fluids and bloodwork.....calcium and kidney values way elevated. She had become increasingly lethargic. Last night her breathing started to grow harsher and she started hanging her head over her water dish. I took her to emergency and was there til 1 am. They kept her overnight and she is still there right now.

Either she has cancer (kidney lymphoma), kidney failure or both. She did not respond well to IV fluids. When I left last this afternoon, she was on oxygen and barely responsive, though she did respond to my pets and seemed to recognize me. The doctor said that she is way sicker than normally presents for kidney disease or even lymphoma.

The doctor told me that he can do a biopsy of her kidneys, but with her breathing and fluid in her chest cavity, she may not survive the sedation. I am currently waiting for the phone call to find out if she made it or not. I am numb and panicked all at once. We may not even get the biopsy results until tomorrow.

You all may remember me as Smedley's owner, he passed away January 1. I cannot deal with this again. I can't go through this again. I can't believe this.

If she survives, she will have to suffer with kidney failure or chemo or whatever else is going on. I have to choose whether her quality of life would be worth it for a few more months.

I feel so guilty for feeling like I wasn't ready to bring her up here to live with me and didn't want her to come at first, due to struggling so much with Smedley's death, but of course that changed when she got here. She is so sweet and loving and to see her as a shell of herself hurts so badly. She doesn't deserve this, any of this suffering.

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[moon_beam]

Hi, Heartbroken, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Like our forum friend Kathy, I too wish I had some words that could offer you comfort regarding the last days / hours of your beloved PJ's earthly journey. I know how it hurts your heart to the very core remembering her health crisis and the only way you could help her was to ease her transition journey home to the angels. I know so well from first hand experience how this can haunt our hearts and minds. Please let me try to reassure you that this is part of this grief adjustment journey. I hope and pray that as your deep grief eases you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved PJ is forever grateful to you for everything you did for her during her earthly journey - - including releasing her sweet Living Spirit from her frail, painful, failing physical body so that she is now restored to her former youthfulness.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Heartbroken, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved PJ's and Smedley's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam