Pj - Please Read Options

[hewasmybestfrien...]

In April, I adopted my parents' cat PJ, and brought her to live with me. I grew up with her, we adopted her when I was in high school. She is a beautiful fat brown and white rag doll who has never hurt anyone or anything in her life. She likes to communicate in either chirps or very breathy silent meows, and loves to snuggle and spoon with me and will flop down and then wriggle until she is perfectly comfortable. I have such a long history with her. She is 11 years old. When I first brought her to live with me I had an exam and bloodwork done, nothing too abnormal.

On Monday, she started vomiting bile, and stopped eating. I took her to work with me (I work at a vet) Tuesday for anti nausea meds. On Wednesday we did fluids and bloodwork.....calcium and kidney values way elevated. She had become increasingly lethargic. Last night her breathing started to grow harsher and she started hanging her head over her water dish. I took her to emergency and was there til 1 am. They kept her overnight and she is still there right now.

Either she has cancer (kidney lymphoma), kidney failure or both. She did not respond well to IV fluids. When I left last this afternoon, she was on oxygen and barely responsive, though she did respond to my pets and seemed to recognize me. The doctor said that she is way sicker than normally presents for kidney disease or even lymphoma.

The doctor told me that he can do a biopsy of her kidneys, but with her breathing and fluid in her chest cavity, she may not survive the sedation. I am currently waiting for the phone call to find out if she made it or not. I am numb and panicked all at once. We may not even get the biopsy results until tomorrow.

You all may remember me as Smedley's owner, he passed away January 1. I cannot deal with this again. I can't go through this again. I can't believe this.

If she survives, she will have to suffer with kidney failure or chemo or whatever else is going on. I have to choose whether her quality of life would be worth it for a few more months.

I feel so guilty for feeling like I wasn't ready to bring her up here to live with me and didn't want her to come at first, due to struggling so much with Smedley's death, but of course that changed when she got here. She is so sweet and loving and to see her as a shell of herself hurts so badly. She doesn't deserve this, any of this suffering.

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[hewasmybestfrien...]

Here's another picture of her. She was so large and voluptuous and yet so delicate and queenly.

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[LittleGirl's...]

OH, PJ's Mommy, I am in shock reading this thread---just absolutely stunned to grasp that you are having to go through this excruciating heartbreak again!!!!!

I am so very sorry, words can't express.

Please try not to feel even a shred of guilt !! You did everything right (you even had bloodwork done in April when PJ came to live with you)!!! And NO guilt regarding not being ready at first to bring her home to your apartment. Guilt over lots of stuff is human, and for whatever reason, it's a natural part of grief. Especially for someone like you who goes above and beyond with your pets--an absolutely outstanding Mom.

PJ's situation sounds exactly like my Dolly's situation. She went downhill suddenly, went into the hospital July 10, 2012, and I made the agonizing decision to let her go on July 12. She had Stage 4 renal failure and no cause could be found.

PJ and Smedley are together, comparing notes about having the best Mommy in the world. You will be FULLY reunited with them when it is your time. In the meantime, they want you to somehow go on with this earthly journey.

Please keep in close touch. We will help you every step of the way in navigating through this excruciatingly painful journey.

I will check back here when I get home in a few hours.

Sending deeply heartfelt prayers your way!!!

Kathy
P.S. PJ is gorgeous!!!

[hewasmybestfrien...]

OH, PJ's Mommy, I am in shock reading this thread---just absolutely stunned to grasp that you are having to go through this excruciating heartbreak again!!!!!

I am so very sorry, words can't express.

Please try not to feel even a shred of guilt !! You did everything right (you even had bloodwork done in April when PJ came to live with you)!!! And NO guilt regarding not being ready at first to bring her home to your apartment. Guilt over lots of stuff is human, and for whatever reason, it's a natural part of grief. Especially for someone like you who goes above and beyond with your pets--an absolutely outstanding Mom.

PJ's situation sounds exactly like my Dolly's situation. She went downhill suddenly, went into the hospital July 10, 2012, and I made the agonizing decision to let her go on July 12. She had Stage 4 renal failure and no cause could be found.

PJ and Smedley are together, comparing notes about having the best Mommy in the world. You will be FULLY reunited with them when it is your time. In the meantime, they want you to somehow go on with this earthly journey.

Please keep in close touch. We will help you every step of the way in navigating through this excruciatingly painful journey.

I will check back here when I get home in a few hours.

Sending deeply heartfelt prayers your way!!!

Kathy
P.S. PJ is gorgeous!!!

Thank you so much. I am so overwhelmed by losing them both that I'm over the top into almost total numbness. I do have moments where I scream and cry but I know that later it's going to hit me like a freight train.