Help,scared,depressed And Lost......, &%^ sac adenocarcinoma...again Options

[Kyadog]

Hi group,
I am new here. I have a 10.9 yr old German Shepherd dog named Kya. In Sept 2014 Kya was found to have an &%^ sac tumor. I took her to a soft tissue surgeon who did the surgery but couldnt get clean margins. We also put her on chemo(Melphalan) she did well the 1st month of treatment but had a severe GI blowout the 2nd month and needed hospitalization. She refused to eat for 4 days. Luckily,she bounced back from that and we took her home and discontinued the chemo. On 12/1,I saw a recurrence of the tumor at her rectum,it had returned w/a vengeance. This time,I found a surgical oncologist and he did a revision surgery on 12/5 and was able to get clean margins. Kya had been doing fine ever since. Strong,eats well and is playful and happy. However,lately Ive noticed her rectum area swelling and looking chaffed and inflamed. I took her back to the oncologist on 3/10/15 for exam and while we were there we did chest x-rays. The Dr noticed that the lymph node behind her right leg was swollen and so he biopsied that and a piece of the rectum. I got the news back that radiology reviewed her x-rays and her lungs were clear. The next day the bad news arrived, Kyas tumor was "mobilizing and trying to spread" and that pathology found evidence of "metastatic adenocarcinoma."......I took her back in on Saturday 3/14 for baseline blood work and we immediately put her on Palladia. The surgeon was frank with me and said this cancer will eventually kill her. I am devastated. I have had her since she was 8 weeks old. Its been basically just her and I for a very long time. She is my best friend,my heart and soul. I dont know how I will get beyond this. he also is my 1st dog as an adult. As well,the palladia cost one thousands dollars per month. Kya is a big girl,@ 115 lbs. I cannot afford to keep that up very long,who could? I am disabled.retired and on a fixed income. Ive spent nearly all my life savings so far. There isnt much left but what can I do? I have to buy her time,if I can. I am truly becoming despondent and Im beginning to think that if she goes,Ill go too. I know thats crazy but thats where my mind is now. I hope and pray the drug helps to keep this cancer at bay for a while. Although it has basically only been her and I,we have lived a good life. She is very much loved and knows it. But she also has shown me complete unconditional love thru the years and the many hard times and lonliness during those years. I dont know what Im going to without her. I cant type anymore,I cant see thru the tears,Ive been crying for days and I just cant seem to get a hold of myself. If anyone here has had similar experiences please reply. Thank You, Paul M

[Kyadog]

Thank You Both for the replies. Its just so awful and you're right,it IS a roller=coaster. It has been since it started. I use the pet cancer support group on Face-book too and many,many people there are following Kya's story. I have met some great folks at that site but you know,Ive watched over the months,one lose a dog,and another and another. I knew one day I would be next and faced with this awful thing. As you indicated,somewhere in my mind I thought to myself,"Perhaps I/ 'Kya will be the one that beats it. But, that's not meant to be. No one usually beats cancer,but it just seems so unfair.I don't think I said this in my original post but I have no children,I am 56 yrs old and alone,except for Kya. I really have lived the last 11 years to tend to her needs and take care of her. Everything has revolved around Kya. I don't know what I will do anymore. Aside from that,I just don't wanna be without her. I know we all die and death is part of life,but when it strikes you,it seems so hard. I haven't dealt with any death of any significance to me. This is significant! iI understand you saying that the bond of love cannot be broken even if she isnt here in her physical body,thats very true. No matter what,she will always be with me and in my mind and heart. The way I feel now about this is I wouldn't go thru this again for anything,so I would never get another animal. I know people say that,but it just hurts to badly. I do love all animals and would want to try to help others in some way but right now the pain of the anticipation is just to much to bear. I have some food that didn't agree with Kya and its a high quality canned food. I'm gunna take it to the local shelter and donate it. I am from NY but now in Florida, I dont know anybody here that can help me so Im reaching out on this forum. I sincerely thank you for the comments. Kya goes back to the specialty hospital on Thursday for ultrasounds,if its in her belly and liver,than I most likely will discontinue the Palladia. At the cost of it, I couldn't keep that up for long anyway. Please pray for her and again Thank You ! Pauil

[LittleGirl's...]

Paul,

That is so kind of you to donate Kya's special food ! You will be helping someone else a lot !

I'm sorry there is not more support where you are. You have us here and we care and will be checking for updates from you.

Let us know how Thursday's appt. goes.

Warm hugs to both of you,

Kathy