My Pet Conure, I lost my beloved bird Options

[Erik]

I've been devastated by the sudden death of my eight and half year old cinnamon green cheek conure named Chicken. He (or she...never had him sexed) was in perfect health early Sunday, and when I came in from shoveling the driveway, I was absolutely horrified to find him laying dead at the bottom of his cage. He had only been in his cage for an hour and a half, so I'm confused, angry, upset and just downright depressed about the whole situation. Everyone keeps telling me it wasn't my fault, but I still feel guilty like I might have been able to prevent it or do something. The little guy was bonded with me, and the feeling was mutual. Whenever I was home, he was with me most of the time and wanted little to do with anyone else (including my wife). I feel like I lost one of my best friends, and I've never been hit this hard by the loss of a pet.

I dropped Chicken off at the vet yesterday for a necropsy, because I'm beating myself up wondering how this could have happened. I often wonder if I made the right decision in doing this! He'll also be cremated and the leg band (he's a banded bird) will be returned to me.

I'll deeply miss my little pal, and I will always have fond memories of all the joy he brought me over the years.

[LittleGirl's...]

Oh I am SO SO very sorry about the physical loss of your sweet Chicken!!

Let me assure you that Chicken does not want you to feel a shred of guilt !! I have heard many, many stories of pet parents thinking they somehow are bad because they made some "mistake" or missed some sign (myself included. I lost my 9-year-old cat Dolly to Stage 4 renal failure in 2012. I still sometimes get pangs of guilt and horror -- wondering whether I missed something, or whether I could have brought something into the house that poisoned her?! It's only when I make myself remember that whatever DID happen, Dolly is free of any future illness/unhappiness, and I will be fully reunited with her when it is my time, that I am comforted.

Chicken knew, and knows, how much you love him (I will refer to Chicken as a "him" in this thread just so that I don't type s/he and him/her throughout). He really does. And in the realm Chicken is in now (he's still with you but as a Spirit; he's experiencing only bliss. No regret, no pain, nothing bad at all. Since there's no sense of "time" for Chicken now, it will seem like a split second to him before you fully join him in that realm [a long time from now, when it is your time to pass]. So there is no need to worry about how he is doing. wub.gif As much grief as you are in now, I hope that truth brings you some comfort.

If you can, try and imagine that the roles were reversed and it was you who had passed on. You would not want Chicken to be in any emotional pain, beating himself up for anything. Grieving is normal--and "guilt" etc. is part of that process so in that sense it's "normal" but only because we're still in these physical forms where we don't fully understand that there's no need to feel any guilt or regret, and that our loved ones don't want us to.

I am just so very sorry that you are experiencing this terrible heartache! Remember - you and Chicken are forever bonded. Love truly does transcend the death of the physical body.

Let us know how you are doing! I will check back here later today.

Sending you prayers of peace,

Kathy
P.S. Chicken is absolutely beautiful. What a lucky bird to have had you as a parent! (And to still have you. Always.)