My Cat Percy Options

[Ritch]

I lost my wonderful marmalade cat Percy on October 23rd because I failed to recognize how sick he was. By the time I got him to the vet, he was in such pain that a little rough handling by a receptionist put him into shock that he died from within seconds. Now I am going through the same torment that everyone else here has experienced. The grief is overwhelming sometimes, and although it is not as horrible as it was for the first few weeks I am still breaking down every day. My wife is getting worn down by my misery -- she was not really attached to Percy, and I was strongly bonded with him. Is there anything that helps with this, aside from time? Therapy, drugs, pet loss discussion groups, taking a vacation? If time does help, how long does it take to start feeling better? I know everyone is different, but I am trying to find things that will help and a goal to work toward. Thank you for your thoughts.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Ritch, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling and experiencing is very normal deep grief when you share with us: "It has been over ten weeks now, and I am still breaking down at least once a day. I have had only four nights of regular sleep since Percy died, and only one of them left me feeling refreshed in the morning. I never had insomnia before this; it's a horrible thing to go through. I can't wait for it to end."

Some people think that if they suppress their deep grief that it will help to make their sorrow less painful. Clinical professionals now recognize that suppressed grief is very unhealthy for it does not allow the body to release the effects of stress that accompanies the grieving process. Scientific studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears for they literally cleanse our bodies from the toxins that build up from the stress of grieving. It is important for your health, Ritch, that you find the opportunities you need to openly grieve for your beloved Percy, even if you must find a private place away from other people to do so.

There are other physical effects we experience due to the stress of grieving and insomnia can be one of them. Although medications can be temporarily helpful for some people, for others they can actually aggravate the problem - - and cause other unpleasant side effects. One of the culprits for insomnia is the added adrenalin our bodies produce during the deep grief to keep us functioning. It's a normal "survival mechanism" to our body's reaction to the stress of grieving. Eventually when the body recognizes the stress is easing, the adrenalin push stops and we experience a "crash" - - which usually results in our ability to sleep once again. There may be a period of feeling "washed out" energy wise, but this too will eventually pass. For these, and many other reasons, it is important to keep the stress levels as low as possible during the deep grief, and to allow our bodies the opportunities to cope with the effects of the grief adjustment journey.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Ritch, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Percy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Ritch, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam