My Cat Percy Options

[Ritch]

I lost my wonderful marmalade cat Percy on October 23rd because I failed to recognize how sick he was. By the time I got him to the vet, he was in such pain that a little rough handling by a receptionist put him into shock that he died from within seconds. Now I am going through the same torment that everyone else here has experienced. The grief is overwhelming sometimes, and although it is not as horrible as it was for the first few weeks I am still breaking down every day. My wife is getting worn down by my misery -- she was not really attached to Percy, and I was strongly bonded with him. Is there anything that helps with this, aside from time? Therapy, drugs, pet loss discussion groups, taking a vacation? If time does help, how long does it take to start feeling better? I know everyone is different, but I am trying to find things that will help and a goal to work toward. Thank you for your thoughts.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Ritch, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Percy. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion unexpectedly intensifies the grief.

Ritch, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.

Although clinical professionals now recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend, unfortunately our society in general, and sometimes the people who are closest to us geographically and physically, do not. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here as a safe place where we can come to share our deepest sorrow without fear of judgment or recrimination with those who truly do understand what we are going through.

Each of us who are now traveling, or have had previous grief experiences, perfectly understand how you are feeling when you ask: "Is there anything that helps with this, aside from time?" Unfortunately, there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the grief journey or make it automatically disappear. Some people think that if they suppress their grief that it will make the deep sorrow easier to handle. Clinical studies prove this is not healthy. Grieving puts the physical body under a great deal of stress, and it is important to find healthy ways to release the stress. Contrary to what society teaches about not showing one's emotions, crying is very healthy as the tears literally cleanse the body of the toxins that build up from the stress of grieving - - even if you must find a private time and place to openly grieve. The most important thing for you to do is to try to keep the stress levels limited as much as possible during your deep grief and to try to find healthy ways to release your sorrow for the health of your body.

Although this grief journey is one of adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Percy, there is one thing that will never change: the love bond you and your beloved Percy share. Love is eternal, Ritch - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Percy's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Ritch - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Percy with us, Ritch. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam