Feeling Devastated Options

[Princessmommy]

Hello Everyone I'm new to this website and I recently lost my baby girl kitten princess on (June 16, 2014) due to a car hitting her. I still remember like it was yesterday that she was brought into my life princess was a street kitten I actually saved her from my neighbors dog when he was trying to attack her. This dog was attacking her bad so my heart was hurting that I decided to get her out. Well that very instant that princess was in my arms she brought a lot of joy into my whole life. I still remember that it was in winter time and since I live with my mother I didn't know if she wanted me to keep her in the house or not. So We had to leave the poor thing outside in the cold in order to ask permission. I did made sure that she was warm in a blanket before I left her outside. Then in the very morning without me telling my mother her heart completely melted as soon as she saw my baby princess out in the back porch. She immediately carry her into her arms and brought her inside an thats when the whole story started with my baby princess. We began to care for her because she was seriously hurt because of that dog biting her. Every day we feed her bath her and gave her all the love anyone could give a beautiful baby calico kitten like she was. before princess arrive into my life I never knew I was a pet lover an how much love a pet could bring to someone's life. Day by day my love began to grow for my princess and I was practically her mommy, her legal guardian because she was always by my side. She was a very cuddling kitty that also loved to play with all my kids. she was never a cruel animal like most of them are. She was always whiling to give all from her to my whole family. Until that horrible accident happen on June 16, 2014. That day I was not home an this happen at night when I return home I couldn't believe my eyes I still remember I didn't park my car right and immediately rush out of my car running because I saw a cat in the middle of the road not wanting to believe it was my princess. As soon as I approach her I immediately let out a huge scream it was my baby princess the one lying there with one of her eyes pop out sad.gif I immediately broke down into tears pick her up hold her in my arms wishing that she was not dead and still alive. I began to scream please princess please come back to me baby girl Please tell me that this is all a dream that you are still with me. But She was not moving or doing anything at that very moment I didn't want to leave her sight or have anyone take her from me.

But apparently my husband took her from me and I was screaming and saying noooo!!! you cannot be gone princess at that very moment I didn't know how to react I was in a complete shock just by looking at my baby girl with one of her eyes pop out. It was one of the most horrible things I could ever experience in my whole life not even a human being hurt me as much as my princess did. Now I blame myself how can I didn't do anything to save my girl by taking her to a vet to have her check. Maybe if I took her She would of still be alive by now, but at that very instant I didn't know what to do but break down into tears and until this day even though it been 3 months since I lost her. I can't find peace or comfort that she is no longer with me. My family doesn't care of what I'm feeling now not even my husband. I'm completely alone in my grief process I feel so lonely that ever since that happen to my girl I been trying to reach out for help but unfortunately I been unsuccessful. I don't know what to do or who to turn to in order to help me with this healing process this whole experience I'm facing right now is causing me a lot of stress in my personal life. I have no friends to even talk to or just to say hey how you are doing today. I'm just so depress I wish my family was able to understand how much I'm hurting right now. All they say is hurtful things and tell me you are over reacting she was just a cat sooner or later you will buy another one. How can they say that she was not just an animal she was my baby my best friend my everything and I can't seem to live without her. I'm going crazy right now I'm even seeing my girl everywhere I go her scratches in the door, meows, her little face in my room, I even feel a presence trying to get in top of my bed in the middle of the night. I'm so miserable right now that nothing seems the same I'm even losing desire of the things I just to enjoy before help!!! The reason I decided to join this website is because I saw the word pet loss and I immediately thought that maybe in this place I was able to receive some kind of guidance or support in helping me with this loss I'm going through right now. I'm not sure if others are experiencing the same loss like me, but if you guys are I'm so sorry my heart goes out to each and everyone of us who are going through a loss or had one before. I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post my story if not let me know where I'm able to post it so that people are able to read it and provide me with at least some feedback. I can't take this pressure pain anymore I need some help from anyone in here in how to feel better an what to do when this type of things happen. thanks for reading sad

I will like to share a picture of my princess so that everyone is able to meet her I hope I uploaded right and everyone is able to see it. if not let me know thanks everyone.

Sincerely,

Mayra

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[Princessmommy]

Hi Moon Beam,

Thank you very much all your support you been providing me since the first day. Your words are very comforting to me an makes me think a lot of things that bring a lot of peace into my heart. I know you told me in the beginning that you were not a professional of any kind and that you were just a simple person like anyone else that provides support and confort to people in here. But I really think you will make a very good professional because you are very good with supporting people and always have something good to say to someone in grief. if it weren't for you and your kind words I will still be lost and confuse about certain things I know that maybe right now I'm still going through some type of stress disorder or like you call it. But I'm just missing my baby so much right now because I'm actually moving right now to a new house and my heart is so broken because I'm feeling like I'm leaving my baby behind. I really don't want to leave my baby over in the other house and even thought her physical body is no longer their I still feel she was there in spirit with me and now that I left her over there I feel awful. All I want to do is go back to that house and unbury her and bring her ashes with me, but I didn't even get to cremate her all I did was grave her whole body in my back yard. I just feel so broken eventhought I know that is my mother's house, but I still knew my mom didn't like my princess because she always just to throw my baby outside. Has anyone experience this before that they had to leave and old house and is hurt to leave their baby behind because they had to leave to a new one? the reason I feel this way is because my mom is going to rent the property and I think that other people are going to invade my babies space and do other things were she is now resting its just so hard to deal with all this