Feeling Devastated Options

[Princessmommy]

Hello Everyone I'm new to this website and I recently lost my baby girl kitten princess on (June 16, 2014) due to a car hitting her. I still remember like it was yesterday that she was brought into my life princess was a street kitten I actually saved her from my neighbors dog when he was trying to attack her. This dog was attacking her bad so my heart was hurting that I decided to get her out. Well that very instant that princess was in my arms she brought a lot of joy into my whole life. I still remember that it was in winter time and since I live with my mother I didn't know if she wanted me to keep her in the house or not. So We had to leave the poor thing outside in the cold in order to ask permission. I did made sure that she was warm in a blanket before I left her outside. Then in the very morning without me telling my mother her heart completely melted as soon as she saw my baby princess out in the back porch. She immediately carry her into her arms and brought her inside an thats when the whole story started with my baby princess. We began to care for her because she was seriously hurt because of that dog biting her. Every day we feed her bath her and gave her all the love anyone could give a beautiful baby calico kitten like she was. before princess arrive into my life I never knew I was a pet lover an how much love a pet could bring to someone's life. Day by day my love began to grow for my princess and I was practically her mommy, her legal guardian because she was always by my side. She was a very cuddling kitty that also loved to play with all my kids. she was never a cruel animal like most of them are. She was always whiling to give all from her to my whole family. Until that horrible accident happen on June 16, 2014. That day I was not home an this happen at night when I return home I couldn't believe my eyes I still remember I didn't park my car right and immediately rush out of my car running because I saw a cat in the middle of the road not wanting to believe it was my princess. As soon as I approach her I immediately let out a huge scream it was my baby princess the one lying there with one of her eyes pop out sad.gif I immediately broke down into tears pick her up hold her in my arms wishing that she was not dead and still alive. I began to scream please princess please come back to me baby girl Please tell me that this is all a dream that you are still with me. But She was not moving or doing anything at that very moment I didn't want to leave her sight or have anyone take her from me.

But apparently my husband took her from me and I was screaming and saying noooo!!! you cannot be gone princess at that very moment I didn't know how to react I was in a complete shock just by looking at my baby girl with one of her eyes pop out. It was one of the most horrible things I could ever experience in my whole life not even a human being hurt me as much as my princess did. Now I blame myself how can I didn't do anything to save my girl by taking her to a vet to have her check. Maybe if I took her She would of still be alive by now, but at that very instant I didn't know what to do but break down into tears and until this day even though it been 3 months since I lost her. I can't find peace or comfort that she is no longer with me. My family doesn't care of what I'm feeling now not even my husband. I'm completely alone in my grief process I feel so lonely that ever since that happen to my girl I been trying to reach out for help but unfortunately I been unsuccessful. I don't know what to do or who to turn to in order to help me with this healing process this whole experience I'm facing right now is causing me a lot of stress in my personal life. I have no friends to even talk to or just to say hey how you are doing today. I'm just so depress I wish my family was able to understand how much I'm hurting right now. All they say is hurtful things and tell me you are over reacting she was just a cat sooner or later you will buy another one. How can they say that she was not just an animal she was my baby my best friend my everything and I can't seem to live without her. I'm going crazy right now I'm even seeing my girl everywhere I go her scratches in the door, meows, her little face in my room, I even feel a presence trying to get in top of my bed in the middle of the night. I'm so miserable right now that nothing seems the same I'm even losing desire of the things I just to enjoy before help!!! The reason I decided to join this website is because I saw the word pet loss and I immediately thought that maybe in this place I was able to receive some kind of guidance or support in helping me with this loss I'm going through right now. I'm not sure if others are experiencing the same loss like me, but if you guys are I'm so sorry my heart goes out to each and everyone of us who are going through a loss or had one before. I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post my story if not let me know where I'm able to post it so that people are able to read it and provide me with at least some feedback. I can't take this pressure pain anymore I need some help from anyone in here in how to feel better an what to do when this type of things happen. thanks for reading sad

I will like to share a picture of my princess so that everyone is able to meet her I hope I uploaded right and everyone is able to see it. if not let me know thanks everyone.

Sincerely,

Mayra

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[Princessmommy]

Hi baby girl,

Here I'm again alone in my own grief without anyone caring of how I'm feeling. Today is been 4months in this exact same day I lost you due to that horrible accident that I will never forgive myself. How can I ever leave you outside that night an just take off without knowing where you were first. How terrible mother I'm if only that night I didn't take you outside I still remember when I told you on that last day princess baby go outside an I remember you didn't want to go so you turn around an left to my room how cute was that my little girl. I felt like you already knew you were going to be gone because you never dis this before until that day. I think its true that when people say pets are able to know when its going to their last day on earth. I'm also hurt because ever since that day happen I was not able to say good-bye to you mommy was in a complete shock an didn't kbow how to react an what to do so that's why I was not able to save you. I still remember how I found you that night I know its tramatic for me to even say it but I just can't help it I wish I was able to repair your little eye so that you were been able to be ok. Baby girl you don't know how much mommy misses you an needs you by her side. it seems like since everyone has seem to have forgotten that today is your Anniversary an the only one that remembers it is me. I wish I was able to so something special for you today but I'm just dying an hurting in my own grief that is srill so painful for me to react at this present time.

Baby girl I hope that one day you are able to forget mommy for all this you knew mommy didn't want this to happen to you. When I found you that night I couldn't help but to immediately start crying. I didn't care what they told me I was crush an all I wanted was not for you to leave because you were my first baby girl with you I learn what unconditional love is an I thank you for that sweety. I'm so sorry that I'm not writing to you daily like everyone else is doing for their babies, but you know that mommy is still very sensitive an hurt due to your loss. Eventhough I don't write to you that often you know that mommy will never forget you an you will always be in her heart 4ever an ever my little angel princess. I wish their was something to get to bring you back an never leave my site but I know that will never happen. Baby girl please forgive me for not being able to write beautiful words like you deserve but its just so hard at this time. I'm crying at this very moment I feel alone an confuse because I have no one to talk to no one that is able to understand how I'm feeling now I
feel that not even your daddy knows how hurt an devastated I'm each day. I try to come to this website to see if I have some supporters, but it feels likw everyone only replies to those who are similar to them. I don't understand why don't they think others deserve some support as well? all of us in here have lost a pet in our life's so I think everyone is sharing thesame pain an that's why we are here to try to receive that confort an support if not I don't understand why we arecin here in we are not able to understand others in pain its just so hard.

Baby girl I want you to continue to bless Moon beam, monique, Vanaja, Augustus, and love my mickey, Greeta's mom because eventhough I know they are also hurting to they were able to take s few minutes of their times to say some comfort words to me. God bless each of you for having that wonderful heart an allowing me to get to know you guys without even knowing who I was. Princess I just want to let you know that I hope that whereever you are right now you are always thinking mommy an sending her your blesdings because she really needs them right now. She is very devastated an hurt today since today its been 4 months since since I have lost you. Happy 4th anniversary baby princess an just remember that you will always have a special place in my heart. Till we meet again my little angel please keep watching over me an never forget that you have left a family behind that will never forget you. I love you (((((PRINCESS)))))

Take care my angel

love an always

~ Mayra your mommy 💞💞💞💞💞