I Lost Mira, My Best Friend, I'm in a personal hell. Options

[AugustusS]

Hello. I desperately need someone to talk to here and there and just don't understand this site. I posted in a spot and don't know if this spot is right either. Nobody will reply. Please help. I'm a nice guy I just need some support with losing my angel. It was such a tragedy I'm just in agony ans hell.

[erinpuglover]

Hi Augustus,

I just thought I would add my condolences. I would never wish the pain felt during the loss of a pet on even my worst enemy. I'm so glad you shared your story about Mira. I do hope you are able to figure out the issues with the site because I would love to see a photo of your beloved.

Give yourself space and time to feel and grieve as you need - not as anyone else thinks or says is appropriate. It's been 5 weeks since I lost my pug winnie in my arms, where she took her last breath, and it's still heart wrenching. That being said, nothing compares to the first few days of wrapping my head around what happened and if there was ANYTHING else I could have done. Know that so much of that is grief speaking and working its way through you - you did everything in your power to help your Mira and she knows this.

I too have continued to struggle with the idea that I've lost all the opportunities I had planned for my pug girl and our family. It's so insanely difficult to accept that all the things I had pictured us doing together were suddenly stolen from me.

I still don't have the strength to put away her toys, her bed or even her water bowl. It reminds me that while she is not physically here with me, her spirit is at my side.

Sending you love and my heartfelt sympathies. Know that we are all here for you anytime you need to share what you're feeling.

[AugustusS]

I am trying to quickly respond to people to convey my deep gratitude but my ability to write is at times fleeting. Please, for the time being, don't judge my lack of words as a poor attempt or lack of gratitude because quite frankly, I hate to keep saying "gratitude" consider what I feel for you all is kindred and I am so blessed to have the support. I will write more soon. Thanks sooooo much!!!!

[erinpuglover]

I am trying to quickly respond to people to convey my deep gratitude but my ability to write is at times fleeting. Please, for the time being, don't judge my lack of words as a poor attempt or lack of gratitude because quite frankly, I hate to keep saying "gratitude" consider what I feel for you all is kindred and I am so blessed to have the support. I will write more soon. Thanks sooooo much!!!!

Thanks for your kind words and thoughts, Augusts. Mira looks like a beautiful girl!!! Know that her spirit is still right beside you.

As Monique said, do not feel any obligation on this forum. We all know that the pain can be debilitating and often hinders us from doing the things we easily do. We are hear to listen, so please don't feel bad about responding quickly enough or even at all. Sometimes all I can do is read a thoughtful response because I don't have the strength to reply back. Everyone here understands.

I know it helps from time to time just to process my thoughts here by writing a post or a memory about my loss. Simply writing and acknowledging your grief can be cathartic. I hope you find a way to take care of yourself, Mira would have wanted you to be okay <3

[AugustusS]

Wow, what a power couple. Mira, it helps me to talk to you. Weren't we a great team! If I was reading or writing outside you'd always let daddy know what's going on. I can't dwell on that night. If I succeed and stop dwelling, I feel as though I'm insulting your legacy. Oh Mira! You were too good for this earth. I hope you're being a good girl up there! Ah, what the hell am I saying, why wouldn't you be?
Mira wanna hear what a pain in the ass you were at times? Hehe. You were too smart and it irritated daddy when he had to resort to spelling so many things. Of course you figured that out as well. Man-o-man. I know you were so terrified the night you took off and didn't mean for this. It's not your fault. It's daddy's fault and I dedicate the remainder of my life to making it up to you. Wanna hint at how I propose to do all that? Live well, one day at a time. It's all we can do. I need you in more places than my heart. But baby, I hope you know I'm thinking of you. Our days and nights were filled with such happiness. Now that you've gone- I know I was happy. I know it. Something sometimes hinted to me that we didn't have long. Not sure why. But one thing I know I can say with my head held high; I didn't take you for granted ever! You were always top priority. Always. I can't make our special pizza any longer because I miss my mooching sidekick. How the heck did you always time the prep walk so precisely? Bag rattling makes plenty of dogs excited and you were no exception. I just wonder how you learned not to waste a trip off the sofa you silly baby! The pizza dough makes the bag rummaging noise. No movement. The flour is covered with a grocery bag. Nope. Not a muscle moved. Roll it out. Then comes negotiating the dough on the pizza stone which, again, you (could) care less about. Poke some holes. Take the sauce from the fridge which you swore to secrecy not to tell our secret pizza base so if you guys have a pizza party up there- you're in charge of putting it together*. Then I open the fridge for the third time in 5 minutes and up springs 38 pounds of a slobbering, salivating spoiled runt! You start with inconspicuous spots but eventually found your way beside my foot. You always got your little hand full and then I'd show you the pizza and say, "all good things come to pups who beg, I mean wait!". Eleven minutes later you accompany me to the stove and this is a time I wish I had set up a timed camera. Unreal. To see a puppy literally leaving her front feet and jerking her body around into a frenzy was a site to behold. I just always felt there'd be plenty of chances for this.
Wow, I've just hit a wall. I was becoming upbeat. One thing talking about Mira always makes me wanna SEE HER!!! Daddy loves you angel!!!

*Putting Mira in charge of any operation involving food is clearly the befuddled musings of a man in mourning.

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