Feeling Devastated Options

[Princessmommy]

Hello Everyone I'm new to this website and I recently lost my baby girl kitten princess on (June 16, 2014) due to a car hitting her. I still remember like it was yesterday that she was brought into my life princess was a street kitten I actually saved her from my neighbors dog when he was trying to attack her. This dog was attacking her bad so my heart was hurting that I decided to get her out. Well that very instant that princess was in my arms she brought a lot of joy into my whole life. I still remember that it was in winter time and since I live with my mother I didn't know if she wanted me to keep her in the house or not. So We had to leave the poor thing outside in the cold in order to ask permission. I did made sure that she was warm in a blanket before I left her outside. Then in the very morning without me telling my mother her heart completely melted as soon as she saw my baby princess out in the back porch. She immediately carry her into her arms and brought her inside an thats when the whole story started with my baby princess. We began to care for her because she was seriously hurt because of that dog biting her. Every day we feed her bath her and gave her all the love anyone could give a beautiful baby calico kitten like she was. before princess arrive into my life I never knew I was a pet lover an how much love a pet could bring to someone's life. Day by day my love began to grow for my princess and I was practically her mommy, her legal guardian because she was always by my side. She was a very cuddling kitty that also loved to play with all my kids. she was never a cruel animal like most of them are. She was always whiling to give all from her to my whole family. Until that horrible accident happen on June 16, 2014. That day I was not home an this happen at night when I return home I couldn't believe my eyes I still remember I didn't park my car right and immediately rush out of my car running because I saw a cat in the middle of the road not wanting to believe it was my princess. As soon as I approach her I immediately let out a huge scream it was my baby princess the one lying there with one of her eyes pop out sad.gif I immediately broke down into tears pick her up hold her in my arms wishing that she was not dead and still alive. I began to scream please princess please come back to me baby girl Please tell me that this is all a dream that you are still with me. But She was not moving or doing anything at that very moment I didn't want to leave her sight or have anyone take her from me.

But apparently my husband took her from me and I was screaming and saying noooo!!! you cannot be gone princess at that very moment I didn't know how to react I was in a complete shock just by looking at my baby girl with one of her eyes pop out. It was one of the most horrible things I could ever experience in my whole life not even a human being hurt me as much as my princess did. Now I blame myself how can I didn't do anything to save my girl by taking her to a vet to have her check. Maybe if I took her She would of still be alive by now, but at that very instant I didn't know what to do but break down into tears and until this day even though it been 3 months since I lost her. I can't find peace or comfort that she is no longer with me. My family doesn't care of what I'm feeling now not even my husband. I'm completely alone in my grief process I feel so lonely that ever since that happen to my girl I been trying to reach out for help but unfortunately I been unsuccessful. I don't know what to do or who to turn to in order to help me with this healing process this whole experience I'm facing right now is causing me a lot of stress in my personal life. I have no friends to even talk to or just to say hey how you are doing today. I'm just so depress I wish my family was able to understand how much I'm hurting right now. All they say is hurtful things and tell me you are over reacting she was just a cat sooner or later you will buy another one. How can they say that she was not just an animal she was my baby my best friend my everything and I can't seem to live without her. I'm going crazy right now I'm even seeing my girl everywhere I go her scratches in the door, meows, her little face in my room, I even feel a presence trying to get in top of my bed in the middle of the night. I'm so miserable right now that nothing seems the same I'm even losing desire of the things I just to enjoy before help!!! The reason I decided to join this website is because I saw the word pet loss and I immediately thought that maybe in this place I was able to receive some kind of guidance or support in helping me with this loss I'm going through right now. I'm not sure if others are experiencing the same loss like me, but if you guys are I'm so sorry my heart goes out to each and everyone of us who are going through a loss or had one before. I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post my story if not let me know where I'm able to post it so that people are able to read it and provide me with at least some feedback. I can't take this pressure pain anymore I need some help from anyone in here in how to feel better an what to do when this type of things happen. thanks for reading sad

I will like to share a picture of my princess so that everyone is able to meet her I hope I uploaded right and everyone is able to see it. if not let me know thanks everyone.

Sincerely,

Mayra

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[Princessmommy]

Moon Beam,

No thank you for taking the time reply to my post, and for those wonderful words you been providing me since the first day I have been here. I'm sorry I'm taking a bit to respond to you. At this time I'm still not feeling well right now I'm crying as I'm writing this post to you I'm thinking of my baby right now not sure if she's doing alright, if she's cold, if she's eating, is she resting somewhere. I been receiving words from people that they are telling me that our babies are in some place called a Rainbow Bridge not sure if you are familiar with that. They say that in this place our babies are playing together with other animals that have also passed away they are eating and happy they are not suffering anymore. I'm not sure it this is true or not because I only know that when they die they are not anywhere that their souls are resting but nobody knows where they are only God knows that. I'm also receiving comfort that someday in the future I will be able to get reunited with my baby girl again and this time forever and we are never going to separate from each other again. I just have so many hopes but not sure if they are going to become true or not today I'm feeling down and theirs nothing that could make me feel better. I know that people in here been trying to give me some kind words and I really appreciated, but sometimes we still feel lonely and sad. I wish all this never would of happen and even thought a new baby calico kitten name Blanca was brought into my life I still miss my baby because this new kitten I have she's been with me for almost 2 months I do love her, but its like something is still missing from my heart but don't know why. Blanca looks so much like my princess they were actually sisters and I'm happy that my baby girl princess brought her sister to me because she knew I was in a lot of pain. At first before I didn't have Blanca I was receiving a lot of signs all over including in the social media. It was an angel letting me know that they knew I was facing a terrible battle right now and that soon things were going to get better.

At first I didn't want to believe it but then again I was not sure of it. And after I receive those signs that's when I received Blanca my baby kitten that is with me now. She was just 1 week old when she was brought to me she's a beautiful calico kitten with black, orange, and white all over her body just like my princess was. At first my Blanca was very afraid to be with us but then as the days had gone by she got just to us. And now she is a very playful and lovely kitten that loves to play a lot and be near me all the time. But I just feel awful about myself because I feel like Blanca is feeling rejected because theirs times that I don't want to be near her an all I think is about my princess and just say you remind me so much of princess an I start hugging Blanca. I also don't have the desire to hug or cuddle with Blanca even if my kids tell me to. They say mom cuddle with Blanca she needs you, but all I say is not at this time I just need my time I'm not sure what is happening to me I do know I love Blanca but I'm not sure why I'm reacting this way. Sometimes I do hug an cuddle with my Blanca but others I just don't want to be near her at all, I even get confuse by calling her Princess because they look so much a like. I didn't really want to have another pet at first because I knew this was going to happen but I couldn't reject my Blanca either, because it was a generosity of my mom that she was the one that brought her to me, because she knew how much a was hurting and all she wanted was for me to be happy again. I'm happy that I have Blanca now but its just something inside me that is just broken and sad that I just reject her has anyone else had this happen to them with another pet before after losing one?