Feeling Devastated Options

[Princessmommy]

Hello Everyone I'm new to this website and I recently lost my baby girl kitten princess on (June 16, 2014) due to a car hitting her. I still remember like it was yesterday that she was brought into my life princess was a street kitten I actually saved her from my neighbors dog when he was trying to attack her. This dog was attacking her bad so my heart was hurting that I decided to get her out. Well that very instant that princess was in my arms she brought a lot of joy into my whole life. I still remember that it was in winter time and since I live with my mother I didn't know if she wanted me to keep her in the house or not. So We had to leave the poor thing outside in the cold in order to ask permission. I did made sure that she was warm in a blanket before I left her outside. Then in the very morning without me telling my mother her heart completely melted as soon as she saw my baby princess out in the back porch. She immediately carry her into her arms and brought her inside an thats when the whole story started with my baby princess. We began to care for her because she was seriously hurt because of that dog biting her. Every day we feed her bath her and gave her all the love anyone could give a beautiful baby calico kitten like she was. before princess arrive into my life I never knew I was a pet lover an how much love a pet could bring to someone's life. Day by day my love began to grow for my princess and I was practically her mommy, her legal guardian because she was always by my side. She was a very cuddling kitty that also loved to play with all my kids. she was never a cruel animal like most of them are. She was always whiling to give all from her to my whole family. Until that horrible accident happen on June 16, 2014. That day I was not home an this happen at night when I return home I couldn't believe my eyes I still remember I didn't park my car right and immediately rush out of my car running because I saw a cat in the middle of the road not wanting to believe it was my princess. As soon as I approach her I immediately let out a huge scream it was my baby princess the one lying there with one of her eyes pop out sad.gif I immediately broke down into tears pick her up hold her in my arms wishing that she was not dead and still alive. I began to scream please princess please come back to me baby girl Please tell me that this is all a dream that you are still with me. But She was not moving or doing anything at that very moment I didn't want to leave her sight or have anyone take her from me.

But apparently my husband took her from me and I was screaming and saying noooo!!! you cannot be gone princess at that very moment I didn't know how to react I was in a complete shock just by looking at my baby girl with one of her eyes pop out. It was one of the most horrible things I could ever experience in my whole life not even a human being hurt me as much as my princess did. Now I blame myself how can I didn't do anything to save my girl by taking her to a vet to have her check. Maybe if I took her She would of still be alive by now, but at that very instant I didn't know what to do but break down into tears and until this day even though it been 3 months since I lost her. I can't find peace or comfort that she is no longer with me. My family doesn't care of what I'm feeling now not even my husband. I'm completely alone in my grief process I feel so lonely that ever since that happen to my girl I been trying to reach out for help but unfortunately I been unsuccessful. I don't know what to do or who to turn to in order to help me with this healing process this whole experience I'm facing right now is causing me a lot of stress in my personal life. I have no friends to even talk to or just to say hey how you are doing today. I'm just so depress I wish my family was able to understand how much I'm hurting right now. All they say is hurtful things and tell me you are over reacting she was just a cat sooner or later you will buy another one. How can they say that she was not just an animal she was my baby my best friend my everything and I can't seem to live without her. I'm going crazy right now I'm even seeing my girl everywhere I go her scratches in the door, meows, her little face in my room, I even feel a presence trying to get in top of my bed in the middle of the night. I'm so miserable right now that nothing seems the same I'm even losing desire of the things I just to enjoy before help!!! The reason I decided to join this website is because I saw the word pet loss and I immediately thought that maybe in this place I was able to receive some kind of guidance or support in helping me with this loss I'm going through right now. I'm not sure if others are experiencing the same loss like me, but if you guys are I'm so sorry my heart goes out to each and everyone of us who are going through a loss or had one before. I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post my story if not let me know where I'm able to post it so that people are able to read it and provide me with at least some feedback. I can't take this pressure pain anymore I need some help from anyone in here in how to feel better an what to do when this type of things happen. thanks for reading sad

I will like to share a picture of my princess so that everyone is able to meet her I hope I uploaded right and everyone is able to see it. if not let me know thanks everyone.

Sincerely,

Mayra

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[Vanaja11]

My Tommi was an unusual cat, I think this was because she was born part feral. Sometimes she would crave cuddles and attention but she would turn in a second and want to get away.

She liked to go outside. At the time, I lived on a busy and not too pleasant estate. I liked to have her in at night time.

One day I arrived home with some shopping and she met me at the door. I was surprised that she didn't immediately run outside. Because I knew I wanted her inside for the night I put her outside and encouraged her to 'go out and play'.

I put the shopping away, sat down with the drink and then the phone rang. I was told my cat had been hit by a car but passers by had seen it and got her out of the road.

I went to get her and she was in a terrible state. I was told she had been crossing the road to head for home when two teenage boys saw her and sped up so they could run her over. I got her to the vet and had to leave her overnight. They told me they'd do what they could. I spent a sleepless night crying. The next morning, I already had an appointment at the vet with my parents' cat. My mother was at work and my father wasn't well so I had offered to take her.
While I was standing in my parents' kitchen waiting for my dad to put their cat in her basket I had the strangest sensation. I felt like Tommi was inside my head and I had this feeling of peace and reassurance. I knew then...

I got to the vet, booked the cat in and the receptionist recognised me. She said the vet had been trying to phone me at home. They sat me down and explained that they had kept Tommi sedated overnight as she had been struck in the head and they needed to wait for the brain to settle before deciding what to do. hat morning her brain started to swell so they were phoning me to get me to come in as they knew her death was imminent. She died at the same time I was stood in the kitchen. Tommi had never regained consciousness. I knew the feeling I had was her saying goodbye.

I tried to act normally and go to work but got sent home by a not entirely sympathetic boss as I kept bursting into tears. I couldn't understand why everything around me was carrying on as normal when my world had ended. My husband was cruel to me, kept going out and telling me he wasn't prepared to be around me when I was 'acting stupid over a ****ing cat'.
That is why the loss hit me so hard. Though I had Mary, she was my husband and stepchildrens' dog. I had been isolated in my marriage and that cat felt like my only friend in the world. In addition I beat myself up so much as I had made her go out when she didn't want to. I felt I had sent to to her death.

What helped me turn the corner was going to see my GP to ask for antidepressants. I told the GP I was going mad. He was so understanding that day. He told me that I wasn't going mad, that I was both grieving and traumatised and that my feelings and behaviour were absolutely normal. I was to take two weeks off work and go back to see him before returning. I was able to return to work after this time and gradually moved forward.

I eventually accepted that I had given her the best life I could and that everything I did was with her best interests in mind. She had been a scrawny, odd looking thing and I had taken a week off work after adopting her. I had had to take her off all solid food and feed her milk and clean her every couple of hours. Because of that I had bonded to her like a baby, I imagine you felt that way about Princess. I was heartbroken that she only had a couple of years but then realised that she would have starved to death at 4 weeks old had I not taken her.

I am so sorry that people around you are doing nothing to comfort you. I made a lot of changes in my life after losing Tommi and feel like her life and loss inspired me to do so. It still hurts that I had to lose her in order to do so.